Is this a good forgiveness text?

So earlier I asked about trying to fight for this guy I was talking to and I wrote a little thing for him but I haven’t sent it. I wanted to see if it conveys my message because I really suck at expressing myself but I don’t want to blow it. Can you be honest and tell me if my message sounds pretty good or not?

“My bday passed and it just made me feel sad. It's as if all the care you don't have/show, I'm laden with. Some people are temporary and only care when you're around. Then, others genuinely care for you whether you're around or haven't spoken for years.

I'm a real big fan of yours & always root for you no matter what. If we were in a deserted island starving and they brought us two slices of pizzas, I'd do the same thing I always do which is measure to see which ones the biggest but instead of being a fatass and eating it, I'd give it to you. Not all friends are a dollar in your pocket. And it's true, I don't know your friends. And I didn't mean to offend you but I can also say with assurance based on the knowledge of my intentions that on a list of people that'd be there for you unconditionally, I'm pretty high on that list with zero incentives or expectations. I didn't offer anything mediocre & I can't snap my fingers and automatically not care because it got hard or tedious.

Im in uncharted territories here cause I tend to spend most my time ignoring and trying to make people not want to be around me cause I don’t want the hassle meanwhile I’m fighting here cause I don’t want to lose one of the prettiest & meaningful friendships I’ve had. Like I don’t wanna argue. I’ll say sorry infinity times and work overtime to right my wrongs. I know where you stand, and I want you to move forward but I don’t want us to be strangers, and you shouldn’t want to be strangers either. “

ok so that’s what I was gonna send him and I’ll probably just send that but I don't know, I get so worried cause I try but I really suck at expressing my feelings but I don’t want to mess it up.
Is this a good forgiveness text?
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