Why do I still care?

My ex/baby's momma has cheated on me on numerous occasions within the 3 years of us being together. We fight like cats and dogs most days. I feel like my emotions are over the top sometimes but I feel like she is emotionless sometimes. We are at the point of the relationship where she says she hates my guts and that destroys me eternally... Why can't I give up on my horseshit never gonna happen dream of us being a loving powerful team that other families envy?
Why do I still care?
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