How to move on?

23M How do you move on from the person you had planned to spend your entire life with? My first real relationship. Spending every moment together, living together. Except for work. I prayed for years that God would give me this woman to spend my life with and it was realized with faith and trust. We spent 3 years together, good times, bad times, hard times, easy times. Our relationship had some wrong doings even with the purest intentions from the beginning. Long story made short, we were both abusive and she cheated multiple times on me. The last time was a lot different than the others and she left me for him, only to be left by him. Still we remained in contact even from our initial breakup. Iv tried for almost the past year trying to show her how sorry I was for doing something I should have never followed into and started doing. One of the last times we spoke and we together she realized that I wasn't going to hurt her, but I wasn't going to let her bs me and not answer important questions as why we still got together and what she wanted from me. She attempted to hurt herself and as it clicked for me that she had more wrong than just our physical abuse to eachother, to add she mentally had a way of coping with difficult situations and upon realizing the extent, it clicked with her that it was not right for her to do it either, and as much as I'd never put her in a situation like that again, she's left me for good it seems. I understand the problems we had now and what it caused. I pray that she's not truly gone from me and I can help her one day. I just want my life back so bad, i cry damn near everyday since we broke up. With little want or ability to carry on with life productively. I still work but other than that I dont know, care to be social with people. I have very few in my life and most of the few are family. I just can't seem to go on. What do you do?
How to move on?
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