Does it make sense for me to get divorced or am I simply being a heartless cow?

Almost three years ago I got married to my friend. We dated twice and got engaged twice and somehow ended up married 3.5 years later. We had many good laughs but that is the furtherest my happiness got.

He has always been hopelessly in love and devoted to me (although he might be a bit flirty to every young lady.. but that is for another day). On the other hand, I have rarely had any genuine feelings for him.

I really want to fall in love, but it is just not happening. He is sweet, but also manipulative.. so friendly, but we often do not understand each other. Our dreams and goals are different too.

I sent him papers created by my divorce lawyer.. but he keeps fighting for the marriage. Unfortunately I do not see it working! I am not in love, without any real connection. I believe he is a bit abusive - not physically but in many other ways.

I have dreamed of a happy, loving relationship for so long and I do not think this is it. I feel lonely. So often I befriend other guys.. I have fallen in love with four guys and even cheated with one - since we got married. I am not proud of this, but I believe there is a real underlying problem. I don't even get along with men most the time, they are so different to us..

So what should I do? Try divorce again on the grounds of "I'm not in love, you are mean and we have misunderstandings" or should I just accept my lot and have babies with him?

Thank you for your time xx
Does it make sense for me to get divorced or am I simply being a heartless cow?
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