(Really long) Me and my ex were in a long distance relationship. A few days ago, we broke up. She struggled with depression and anxiety really bad, she had warned me she had issues before we got together but I told her I could handle it. A few days ago however, it took a turn for the worst. Basically she was having a suicidal/ depressive episode and this one was worse than all the others. I got really upset. I was trying so hard to help her and keep her alive but I couldn’t even physically be with her and in this state of mind she refused to talk on the phone. So I got mad and I decided to go to Instagram and post that I was single, which didn’t take her a long time to see. She confronted me about it and I told her that if she plans to kill herself then I might as well be single. So then she’s said ok you are single now so bye. I left her on read. But I texted her the next night to explain why I left. And I told her that I felt like I was letting her down because I couldn’t physically be with her to help her through this. I couldn’t hug her or kiss her when she was having a hard time. I just felt like it wasn’t fair to her at all. So I told her we could just be friends and she said she didn’t want that. She wrote me a big paragraph explaining how much she loved me. And I only replied to it with a single sentence. She removed me from her social media. And now I’m reflecting on all of this and I highly regret leaving her. I tried replacing her already I know it’s not possible she was special and now she’s gone. Yeah, she was difficult to handle at times but she was worth it. And we could have broken the distance one day. In fact, we planned to. But I messed that up. This girl loved me so much and cared about me in a way no one ever has but i feel like I’ve completely lost her and I don’t think she’s ever going to forgive me.