I love my boyfriend so much, but I have considered dumping him in the past (he could never hang out/always canceled). He is much better about it now and a wonderful person, but I feel so guilty for having thought negative things about him (ex: he's pathetic and disappointing) and almost dumping him multiple times. It's eating me up, and I doubt he's considered dumping me. I feel like I'm lying to him. Is this normal, or am I invalidating my feelings?