Desperate for an answer to this. Please help me understand?

Please help me make sense of this if you can.

I loved my ex but in the end I let him go when I realised he actually didn’t love me. I knew he liked me but it just wasn’t enough and he didn’t want to make the effort to to be the more that I needed.

When i left him, he was cruel in some of the things that he said and he cut me off to go and enjoy his single life.

I didn't hear from him at all.

Months passed by and I had one question that I couldn’t get out of my mind. That was... why could he stay friends with a woman who cheated and another who he had a brief fling with but not me. So I asked.

He told me that he knew it’d be painful for me for us to speak and that he had told me he wanted to write a letter but he didn’t think it was the right time and now I have a boyfriend (I told him this when I said what I miss is actually just his friendship) so he couldn’t.

My head is just all over the place.

He told me that he would’ve loved to wish me happy birthday (he didn’t forget it was the day before I messaged).

I just wish I knew how he really felt... he said that we could meet but it’d be difficult because of our “long relationship” but “I don’t know maybe for a bit of time”.
Desperate for an answer to this. Please help me understand?
Add Opinion