How to get over abusive ex?

My ex used to manipulate me and pressure me into sex. She isolated me from a lot of my friends and was extremely possessive. I got out of the relationship about a year ago but we still kept in close contact. I recently just cut contact with her but now its all a lot harder. Now I get anxiety when I'm around her and I'm thinking about all the things she did to me now. I don't trust anyone anymore and am afraid to enter a relationship again. My self esteem is almost completely gone and I feel like a dick. I feel like it was all somehow my fault, maybe I should have communicated better but then I remember that she would guilt me for saying no. It was a constant cycle of abuse of her blowing up and then making up and forgetting how it could ever be bad.
I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to feel anxious. Does anyone know how to move on from an abusive ex? Or some resources for that for guys?
How to get over abusive ex?
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