I would like real advices please? I don’t want any hate comments?

Anonymous
My ex and I have been broken up for 5 months now, I was toxic to him it was all mistake I couldn’t help myself cuz I was insecure and jealous. I didn’t want to lose him because I knew about his ex. I loved him and I was being shit to him because I was protective and controlling. I wasn’t trying to be toxic but I couldn’t help myself. We broke up twice and it was my fault I kept repeating it anxiety and depression gotten worse. Now the 5 months that has been apart. I worked on myself I have gotten better. I’m not lying to myself I got treated for a anxiety. I have really changed. I know if he wanted me he would text me but if it was my fault for the break I should be the one reaching out. But people tell me I will look desperate and if he wanted you he would text you. And so on. But they don’t know it was my fault. I do want to reach out and make it right again cuz I know if we ever did try the third time it would be better than before. At the same time he has a girl I think. At the same time I don’t want to lose my self respect. What do you guys think I should do? Real answers please.
Updates:
2 mo
I think he has still the mindset of being the same person but I know I have changed. What do I do?
I would like real advices please? I don’t want any hate comments?
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