So wait, are you saying you had an "arranged marriage" by both the parents? God, that is a recipe for disaster. I think people should make their own choices as to who they want to love, not who the have to love.
Don’t let your parents ruin your happiness. They’ve lived their lives, now you live yours.
@Presidentee So true! They lived their lives. Don't ruin your happiness. I wish you good luck. I lost the person I loved because of her mother. She did things to us I would never even imagine a mother could... she made me to hate her and hate myself.
Did you ever do something back?
She left you because of her mom? Then she didn’t really love you. I’m sorry you had this happen to you.
That’s not true. Some people love their moms a lot.
That’s so inexcusable
That means you are some how related. Oh no move on. Find someone who will love you without her mom being involved..
@Presidentee I don't know if it's the reply to my question or you replied to her comment?
I replied to your update about parents being related.
@PersidenteeParents are part of your everyday lives. Theu helped raised you and often know who you are. It has nothing to do with them ruining your happiness but having a family. And once you marry into someone's family your bringing on the blessings and the curses of not broken with you. It's foolish to think your family have anything to do with your relationship. Be smart, not dumb. My mom wished she listened before she married my father. And the same to some people I know who married onto the wrong families. It causes more stress and heartache. Selfishness isn't worth it.
You can love a person all you want, but that doesn't mean your romantically compatible. I would not be with some ody without seeing the family first.
@anon841Her mother had nothing to do with it. You both were not for each other and she made her choices. Family means everything to some people, even if their toxic. Domt hate her mother. For she gave birth to the one you say you loved.
Yo pls turn the Christian shit down. It feels like I’m talking with Jesus.
@Minato157, I think you need to go some way and stop assuming everyth long have to do with Christianity. If you want to ruin your life go right on ahead. I would not want to live and wish ruin on somebody else. We're talking about real life situations and you take it as a joke. If you don't like WHAT I have to say move on. I am getting sick and tired of having to debate and argue with you and I am this close to ending it personally.
@btbc92 No matter what you say to me, my beliefs will remain. I don’t care who raised me. I’m grown and I pick and choose who I will fall in love with. Not my parents. You all are delusional for believing it’s up to your parents to choose your happiness. Obviously the parents don’t know too much then we wouldn’t be on this post in the first place. I marry who I want and if my parents don’t like it they don’t have to come around. I said what I said!
@PersidenteeNo I think what you're doing is that you're very ignorant and being very arrogant into thinking that somebody's trying to control your life or your happiness. You can marry who you want, and you can do what you want. It's your life is your choice. I honestly don't care what you choose to do. And whatever it is that you decide to do as long does it take Gaba stand it I will support your choices. But what I'm talking about has nothing to do with your pair of determining your happiness. It's about having care and respect for the people that raised do in love you enough. Her parents did not love you, then why are you having a relationship with them? It's best for you to let them go that way you can live your life to do whatever it is that you please. You can have your own beliefs, you can be grown or you want, doesn't mean you always know what's right for yourself. That's ignorance. But again that's your life. Sounds like to me you're so used to being so controlled you can't make your own decisions for you to declare that you are grown enough to make your own decisions.
No I think what you're doing is that you're very ignorant and being very arrogant into thinking that somebody's trying to control your life or your happiness. You can marry who you want, and you can do what you want. It's your life is your choice. I honestly don't care what you choose to do. And whatever it is that you decide to do as long does it take Gaba stand it I will support your choices. But what I'm talking about has nothing to do with your pair of determining your happiness. It's about having care and respect for the people that raised do in love you enough. Her parents did not love you, then why are you having a relationship with them? It's best for you to let them go that way you can live your life to do whatever it is that you please. You can have your own beliefs, you can be grown or you want, doesn't mean you always know what's right for yourself. That's ignorance. But again that's your life. Sounds like to me you're so used to being so controlled you can't make your own decisions for you to declare that you are grown enough to make your own decisions.
Stop making such baseless assumptions as if we share your life. Because if you have to make such a statement than what that means is that you're not really living your life, it means you trying to prove something to somebody. If you got to try to prove something to people, or parents, then you're not living out your true happiness.
Having that kind of attitude is not going to make you any happier, it's going to make you more miserable. I'm only telling you by experience.
@btbc92 You’re wasting your time with me. You gotta be bored. No matter what you say or how you twist it up, You can’t stop me; make me, or tell me how to live or who to listen to. So chances are? You are wasting your time trying to convince me. Just keep convincing yourself. You can let your parents in the room while you’re having sex too! Enjoy!
I feel sorry for you airheads out there. Just plain stupid! To the asker of this post, please don’t listen to @btbc92 this person is clueless and you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life listening to such airheads. If you gotta do what mommy and daddy say forever, you’re a coward. Grow some damn balls. @btbc92
@Persidentee Adios please! You disrespect other people and calling other delusional and airhead you don't see your toxic attitude is why your so miserable. You got personal issues, and whatever those issues are don't bring it over here!
And first of all of your talking about fornication, then you go ahead and be a hoe. But you don't go around doing it in your parents home! Like I told you before I don't care what you choose to do, you and live your own life. But don't be dragging your personal issues to other people just because you're miserable! Honestly. Take that crap elsewhere. You think it's all about you. Such a narcissists.
No good man in their right mind is going to want to date somebody like you acting like a jerk! Maybe you better start learning how to act like a lady, instead of telling a man to grow some balls. These guys did not do anything to disrespect you to Warrant such disrespect from you! He asked a very good question that most people should always consider, and I don't think he needs somebody like you making fun of him if he chooses an answer you don't like.
Everyone just isn’t that conservative. You have to understand that. Some people have casual sex and that’s how it is. You have to let go sometimes.
@Minato157 You need to understand that your life choices effects everyone around you. Your children especially doesn't deserve to be born in an unhealthy environment they never asked to be in. And parents who make such choices often don't think how not having a good relationship with the grandparent can impact their dating and relationships choices in the future. Because of ignorance. You never try to pit someone else's family against you, no matter how much you dislike their family. People who have good relationships with their family often attract good partners, and when they get married they merge and become happy families. Not having acceptance from your family can often cause a lot of stress, depression, and other problems that can give rise to red flags in a relationship. So unless you never had a close relationship with your parents or family, it is never wise to try to put that same fate on somebody else who does. If somebody else's family doesn't like me, I'll move on. That's how much love and respect I have for other people. I will not make somebody disown their family because of me.
Well my parents hate each other and they got me when they were like 20 so I guess ure right. My mom is a so called ”hoe”.
It has nothing to do about being conservative, or who chooses to fornicate. It has everything to do with how your life choices again affects other people. Your past, as well as your present affects your future and the future of others. If she does not care who she hurts then that's her business. Anybody who is foolish enough to get involved with her will going to have to suffer the same fate. I understand exactly what she saying and I understand exactly what kind of person she is. Somebody who doesn't give a damn about other people but herself. And I'm not going to deal with that kind of person and in trying to tell her to people to be just like hers because she's unhappy with her personal life. Top personal life have nothing to do with you, nothing to do with me, nothing to do with the asker or anybody else. She has be responsible for her own adult choices as we all do.
Well she is then if that's the case. There's no disagreement anywhere is the same thing with what my parents did, and I came along out of wedlock too. I'm considered a bastard as well. But at least it's the truth. At least my late mother told me not to do the same mistake she did. In fact it's not even about that. The point being is is that if you're going to be doing ungodly things before marriage then you cannot complain when they are problems in your own relationships and whatever problems that you have is affecting your family life with those around you. When you choose to have premarital sex, you are ready marrying into that person illegally specially without you even knowing it. That's how much it affects you and how much it affects your parents and their parents. That's why in ancient times no matter what religion or beliefs and they had they always did it through the parents for a reason. Because if you don't do it a certain way you're going to cause a lot of hell that you personally chose for yourself.
I would rather educate a person about the choices and the freedom that they can have, if they think rationally or logically, before they just used their hormones or their lusts to dictate their future. Before the end up with a future they don't want, but complain. Why do you think so many couples especially married couples have issues in their relationship? Because they did the very same things you people promote. And it's often avoidable.
I don’t really think that far. I just do wgat feels good in the moment. If she wants to bang then i’ll do it. I’m pretty sure that I was an accident but idc.
Relationships is not all about you it's about the other person. And you got to be mindful of the choices you choose to do. That's the number one thing that I always tell God that ever try to approach me to date me. I let them know right off the bat I am not going to rush into dating I wants to be friends for a while even if it's a year to press to get to know each other and our friends and family. Why? Because I don't want to get caught up with the wrong kind of person. I don't want to be the cause of the downfall of somebody else. That's taking responsibility and being an accountable adult.
And you see what happens when you don't want to think that far, you see the problem that you called yourself and other people. You have to understand sits and a lot of women sadly don't understand or know what they're doing. That's why they look to men for guidance because that's how God designed it to be. But you meant to be leaders amongst your communities in your family. You don't want to do anything simply because of what feels good to you because looked at the amount of trouble and Promise You chords for yourself and other people when you do that. And when a woman doesn't she caused even further problems for herself. Especially if she got pregnant we still has baby she doesn't want or with an STD. It is something bad happens guess who she's going to blame for it? You. That's why I don't blame some men when they say they don't want anything to do with a woman and likewise a woman when they say they don't want nothing to do with a man.
Well you do you. I just go with the flow. If I meet some nice chick at a party and she wants to go back home together then sure.
You're not an accident. They made it choices and you are the result of it. Sex is intentional.
Yeah but I don’t think they wanted me.
Well again that's your life that's your choice. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Yeah well I won’t
Well it's not about what they didn't want. Your life is just as precious as they're like this. If they didn't care about their lives, that's their choice. But remember this. There's sexual choices also influences your sexual choices. Why do you think you are the way you are and why you do what you do? You think you do all because you just want to question marks nope is because that's a generational curse they set up in your life. Not all is your choice. And it's been scientifically proven the everything that we do gets embedded in our DNA.
So everything that you're doing now, if you end up having a child with any of these women, you going to have set a curse for them that's a repeat for their lives.
Well I don’t believe in that. And you can be an accident likr me. For example if ur dad’s condom broke or smth.
My father had over 40+ women before he met my mother, and my sister's mother included. He was in his mid 20s when he met my late mother. Even she told him she was not being Christian when she met him and fornicated. I was not an accident. But neither of them believed in abortion so they got married and had me anyway. Not knowing he was emotionally, mentally, spiritually and psychological abusive. The whole family is the same way as well on his side. And that is why some of the women that he had left him and didn't want to marry him. My home was far from Christian and I did not live a Christian Life in my home. My mother tried but she eventually gave up in back slided. I didn't even know that she had an STD until she got sick with cervical cancer and got into a big argument with my father.So you have to understand that it has nothing to do with condoms on birth control. It has everything to do when you choose to have sex outside of marriage. If my mother did not do what she did, she would have made informed decisions that could not only save her life but could have spared me from getting abused the way I did.
And she had to agree with me before she passed away. When you are young the way you are, and you're not being tour from right from wrong, you make all kinds of mistakes that you think are just mistakes until it's proven to be in tension. Making Reckless decisions can cost you your life and affect the lives of others. My mother would have been here by now has she not made her sexual choices. At the same time she's more likely would have been spared more had she not married my father. But she did not want me without a father so she stayed. At the same time it affected my older sister to the point where she felt that she was unloved by our own father and made a family with my mom and instead of her. It affected her sexual choices and now she got married to somebody who not only isn't respecting her loving her either booking was just like our father. Now is expecting her kids. And I don't even want to get into the situation with my own cousins and aunt's and uncles. That's the curse that sadly my grandmother put on herself. And that's why they did what they did, fornicated the way they did, fornicated the way she did both how she got married and didn't get married, got six kids from three different men. And the list goes on. Why? Sin. Call it religious, say what you will, it is what it is in this life. I'll tell you like I tell anybody else. If you want to continue to make those choices it's all up to you. But After experiencing what I had experienced in my life, and losing my mother the way I did, I refuse to make those mistakes.
Yeah my dad has always been eude towards me. Once when he promised to watch a movie with me when I was 5 and he was 26 or so. He pur the movie on and left to ny mom’s and his room. After I had watched for like 10 min I went to their door and opened it. I saw him doing my mom in missionary. I didn’t know what was going on bacj then but I asked him what he was doing to mommy. He just told me to get the fuck out and close the door. He never came to watch the movie.
My mother at least only had two sex partners. Her so-called boyfriend that she lost her virginity to at 13 and gave her an STD when he was practically a grown adult at 17 and never told her about it. And my father who she met when she was 19. That's it. That one sexual Choice change her entire life and ended it. Her married to my father did not help. You have no idea how much love God has for me to protect me from a lot of things that could have been far worse for me. I'm still a virgin to this very day and I never dated. And I thank God everyday I didn't. I think about people's choices and how much those choices impact Our Lives daily. Howard causes somebody to be financially unstable, I will causes for somebody to be in abusive relationships, how causes somebody like my mother to get cancer an STD because of cancer, or end of being poor as I myself almost could have been homeless. I had been abused myself.
And you see what happened? You grew up in that same type of household yourself that's dysfunctional and unhealthy. A child should not be in those situations. And it's very clear that your mom was more likely being raped and abused. That's not normal. And now you're carrying on that same attitude through your father without even realizing it. And you're not seeing how much that's affecting who you choose to sleep with and how you choose to sleep with them. That's why it's called a sin.
I don't know if she was getting raped. Wouldn’t she have screamed for help or smth like
She doesn't always have to scream to show rape. When you're a victim of abuse, it becomes common practice, that you accept it as if it is normal. It becomes normalized and it affects their whole life to the point they live in it and doesn't want change because it's all they know.
I surely hope not that my dad is a rapist. I think they might have done foreplay and then he came to put the movir on so they could start. The movie thing ptobably ruined his mood and when I came in it was the last straw. I still to this day cry over what happened someyimes.
@Minato157 No, that's what's happening. I should know because it happened with my own mother and that's why she grew to hate having sex with him. And he threatened to have me taken away and say how she was abusive to me even though that was not true. What loving parents curse out their own children, regardless if sex was taking place? Do you actually think it' normal?
She felt obligated to have sex with him even when she didn't want to. And even told me he raped her once or twice having sex with her when she was asleep and woke up feeling weird in the morning. She never told me that growing up until I was a young adult. Now a LOT of things that used to admire about my father, I grew to despise, and I had to ask God for forgiveness because it became to affect my livelihood and how I viewed marriage and family. And I do NOT want you thinking that what goes on in marriage and people's lives today especially, is always normal. There is a LOT of things most parents do not tell their children and its a red flag that something is not right.
Yeah it’s pretty normal. My mom brings random dudes over all the time and I can hear them sometimes.
@Minato157 Let me tell you something. That is NOT normal. Now, look at what she's teaching you. That it's okay to hoe around. That's not being a responsible parent or adult. I'm sorry to say. What your talking about is enough for BCW and CPS to come knocking on your door to put you into foster care and revoke parental rights. That's how abusive your home is. Not a joke.
That is not how you have sex and form healthy relationships. She is desensitized to sex and if she is married to your father, she is committing adultery and cheating. And you need to be careful because some of those same men can god forbid try to do harm to you. That's dangerous and abnormal. She can get reported for child endangerment and neglect.
You don't need to be in that dysfunctional and abusive environment. That is not NORMAL. And any girl or woman you get involved with IF you're still visiting or living in that household will endanger her too.
Why would they hurt me and how? Aren’t they there just to bang my mom? My mom and dad were never married and haven’t been together for like 10 years now.
@Minato157 Because 1, if they can do that to your mother and she allows it, some of them can be homosexual too, and they can rape you as well. Your parents do not have a relationship. Its a sexual tryst used as an 'open relationship'. 2, you're a teenage boy, these are grown-ass men. They have more strength and abilities to do harm to you no different if you were female. Once they enter your home by her permission, she already gave permission to have access to you. Ask anybody who has been raped by somebody who their parents allowed into their home. I know a person or two personally who had such experiences or near-rape experiences.
I highly suggest you get out of that house while you are still able to. Because those same people can bring drugs or even guns. And if you're in the middle of that, you can kiss your life goodbye.
I mean I have met a few and they were cool. I don’t think they are gonna rape me or shit.
@Minato157 You would be quite surprised.
@Minato157 What goes on in their heads. Just because your acting chummy chums with them that don't mean they don't plot in their minds about what they want or could do. They do it to your mother, they don't give a damn about you or her. To them, its just sex, and sex is a business to them.
I don’t think she is a whore. I don’t think they are paying for this stuff. I actually walked in on my dad and mom many times. I also walked in on my mom giving some dude a BJ like a year ago. Oir household really is fucked up.
@Minato157 That is being a whore. You need to understand that once your not a virgin out of wedlock a woman becomes a harlot. More than one sex partner is a whore. They changed the definition because they want to open up their legs or poke different people because they WANT TO. They can't be responsible for their own choices and wants to be irresponsible. What your talking about is prostitution, and it's no different. Just no money involved. It's still whoredoms.
My mom isn’t a prostitute. Wtf!
They don’t pay her. I think it’s clled casual sex.
@Minato157 Casual sex is whoredoms and fornication. Prostitution is when you're paying for sexual services regardless if it's legal or not. Just that depending on HOW the person got into prostitution, they can already be whoring around and then get into the business, or they get into the business against their will and forcibly become a whore. Just that again, you have pain or unpaid. It's about the intent of your sexual choices. A person who hops from sex partner to sex partner is a whore. But some people mix it with being a slut. Which is very similar to the meaning.
She is a slut but not a prostitute. It’s not her job. by the way do you think that you will be alone forever?
paid*She doesn't have to be paid. Doing that is what people call a whore house, when your inviting people for sex, though they often expect payment illegally. You can do that without expecting payment. At the same time, you don't even KNOW if she is or isn't. You're just living in that home, not always knowing what is going on except that your parents have sex with each other and she invited different men home. They can do all of that under your nose or outside the house and you still would not know what is going on. They are not going to tell you everything they do. Especially when your still a minor.
Yeah well I will respect her choices. I have never felt unsafe and I’m oretty damn sure that these guys ain’t gonna rape me.
@Minato157 Slut, whore is the same thing. And yes, I do. Because with what is going on I refuse to be involved with people and guys especially on that level. You see for yourself what is going on in your life with your parents, why would I want to sign myself for that? No thank you. I'm safer by myself. That's what I want. I've been happier not worrying about that instead of having people forcing those things on me that I don't want or asked for.
If you want to be a part of that lifestyle, then go ahead. I cannot force you or expect you to want to do differently. But at least let whoever gets involved with you know what you're about and lived with, because they deserve to know the truth, and don't need heartache because of those choices.
Whore is the same as prostitute but just dergotary.
I will go to bed now but what my mom does is dumb but it’s not the end of the world.
@btbc92 If you have smth to say then I hace time now.
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Were engaged for 2 months, families are related to each other so they matched us.She said she doesn't like them because she thinks they should not ask her anything about her daily routine or general questions (you know general conversation stuff) . Our parents know each other very well though and I used to talk to them and never felt the way she felt about my parents.
That was my first relationship but I don't know if she was testing me all that time or just didn't like me from the start even though we chatted and used to talk for hours daily.
Frankly, this sounds like a contrived excuse for her to get out of an arranged marriage.
Yeah it seemed like that as well
But isn't STEM cells a hot market at the time?
@Daniela1982 stem represents science technology engineering and mathematics
Whups, I knew that!
With most of the pinks voting for yes, this is the reason I'm marrying my job and my money.
It doesn't matter what she did she is STILL her MOTHER. This is what happens when you get involved with strangers and don't know their family or history. Maybe seriously think about befriending people and getting to know family before rushing into things? I'm sorry that happened to you, but holding on to resentments is not worth it.
Your girlfriend at the time is still with her mom, right? That is also her choice if she knew her mom was like that. Even if she can't walk, she should have reported her for abuse. I go through the same thing in a way with familial abuse. There is not much you can do or change about the person. Me getting out of this situation once in position is what I know I need to do for myself. She has to decide what she wants to do with her life. Again, lesson to be learned get to know the family first before even thinking about dating and becoming exclusive. You never know what your picking up. Is she allowed her own mother to do those kind of things then sadly you can't put full blame on the mother because that's on her as well.
@btbc92 I didn't care she telling me those, she was just proving that she is immature... honestly I was laughing. Then she blocked me everywhere, I still don't know if it was mother or daughter. Daughter sent me am email with new address, it says her mother has her phones. her mother can access her emails, I don't know how.
Because she allowed it. Sadly there are people like that who play con artist games to attract people into their kids lives. I should know because I was So called friends with somebody who my friend married into. Come to find out his parents NEVER liked her, faked in front of her the whole time, allowed him to abuse her, and get this, they abuse each other and it's criminal. She had to divorce him, but he was the one who told her to divorce him after separating from him 2x before. She wished she saw all of the red flags about him not moving out of his parents house and other things. His entire family accept his grandparent didn't like her. That's why I'm telling you as I tell anybody, I don't care how much you love and you say you really want to be with that person. Pay attention to what you're getting yourself into. If she got pregnant it would have been a disaster.
@btbc92 Your girlfriend at the time is still with her mom, right?Yes, her mother looks after her. I reported to social services... nothing happened. Few weeks later I found out her emails are registered with a new phone, her phone was not working properly. Even her mother said me her daughter was just playing with me. I still don't know. It has been 2 months.
There you go. Proof in the pudding. Scamming you.
@btbc92 Can you sent me a message, I like to show you something
Not a problem.
@btbc92 I am at level one, you have to message me first
Sounds like an arranged cousin marriage? You don't have to go through with it.
Would you dump a great guy just because he has a average size penis