Thank you for that, and I'm glad you got better!
It's not actually that general. One can try not to feel suicidal, but some triggers are just there and there's no way to prepare for it. And therefore an ex, or anyone else can be that trigger through some malicious act
Yes there are triggers but that’s not he other persons reaponsibility. It’s the pathology of that person them self that’s makes them susceptible to those triggers in the first place.
If it were the other persons fault then surely other people they’re involved with in the same way would be suicidal also. That makes no sense. Blame does not pave the way to recovery. I’m no expert but I can see that much.
I know what you mean, but the other person's actions are their own responsibility. If they are with you, they know enough about that they're hurting you. They have the choice to respect your boundaries, even if they are leaving. They have the choice to be decent, just like you choose how you act.
they know enough about [you]*
So before we can debate this further, I need to know what specific actions exactly you’re referring to here...
How they treat you, of course. It varies depending on the betrayed individual, but it's typically something like emotional and/or sexual infidelity, and verbal and/or physical abuse.
I’m asking what specifics of treatment obviously. But those you mention happen all the time, they don’t cause suicidal thoughts. It’s the persons pathology that triggers that reaction to such things.
A healthy person wouldn’t tolerate it or stick around for that kind of treatment. Someone who needs help and therapy to overcome such things needs to take ownership of that and ask for the help they need to help them see why they’re letting this happen etc. It’s not about right and wrong and who’s to blame. It’s about each person taking responsibility for trhemselves. The blame game is a toxic no win cycle.
There also a common theory that like attracts like. So certain types are drawn to each other because they’re on similar levels.
One may be needy while the other may be detached. But generally they’ll both have issues that attract each other to begin with.
Trying to make someone else responsible for your actions is actually abusive too.
That's not really controversial in my opinion. If you are sick, it's ultimately your responsibility to get help with the resources you have. Though actual suicide happens when the resources can't surmount the pain. But I'm not going trash or abuse a sick person and say I have no responsibility l even for their pain or struggle, let alone my own choice. This is especially so if I inflicted harm that would even hurt a healthy person. I'm not sure that we disagree.
Don’t twist my words, ANYONE who abuses another is wrong. But ultimately what that person chooses to do themselves is on them. You were both clearly toxic. I hope you find a way out of that.
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I'm glad you got better
You're very welcome