Complicated love story?

so i broke up with my ex over 2 months ago because people would tell me hat he was cheating on me and they would tell him the same thing due to that i started to become distant in our relationship. but when we were on a pretty good terms he would tell me he loved me and that i was the first girl he actually loved and he didn't like staying away from me, his guy friends would tell me the same thing. but when i ended our relationship i really didn't tell him why but when he found out i was serious he started to get high more and he would come to me and just hug me i felt bad ending things the way i did i thought it would be helping us not hurting us we both became distant from everybody but i few weeks later we started acting like a couple again we started sneaking around having fun and stuff he would still say he love me and we kept all away from our friends then i told him this isn't healthy for both of us so we stop talking for a month but we would still stare and look at each other we became distant from everybody again but this time we both started to drift off but yesterday he pulled me to the side kissed me gave me hickeys and told me he loved me then he hugged me and i started to tear up he asked me is i loved him back i tried not to let him hear that i was crying through my voice but i couldn't i said i don't know then sat on the floor and tried to wipe my tears as i was doing that he pulled me up and hugged me i wanted to start crying again but i pushed him off of me and walked off before things spiced up. im no going to lie this boy was my everything he made me feel safe and happy i let my guard down for him but i felt like i had to end it because i thought we where letting people get in between us i though we could move on from that relationship and become friends but it seems like we still like each other and people tell us all the time now that we should get back together because we were cute but when we where together they where trying to brake us up.
Complicated love story?
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