Why do I feel like I'm making it worse in myself?

Anonymous
I feel like I'm not able to let go of things, and it's really starting to bother me.
The first real relationship I was ever in went on for almost 5 years. It wasn't a smart relationship, she was Mormon and I wasn't. We wound up breaking up during her mission and how she acted and treated me broke me. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally devastated.
I felt I started letting go and moving on, and I met someone last year who seemed wonderful. We both got out of similar circumstances, and we got along so well and had an amazing connection. But she lived 2 hours away from me because of school.
On our first real date, she said she thought she was ready and she wasn't she wasn't over her ex and she couldn't date. She started treating me horrible and pushed me away, even as a friend to the point I blocked her because of how she hurt me.
In August this year, I happened to drive by my Mormon ex's wedding. It further hurt me, because I didn't know I'd see that. I asked out this girl the next day, and we went out and we had fun. But no matter how much I cared and tried to be a good person, she dropped me for bad people and got addicted to drugs and when she sobered up tried coming back to me.


What I'm getting at is. All three of these women, I can't stop thinking about. I understand why I think of the Mormon. I was with her for 5 years, I loved her more than anything.
I don't understand why I dont feel I'm over the girl who lived two hours away, despite a year passing. Or the druggy girl.

I just don't understand, and I don't know how to let it go.
Why do I feel like I'm making it worse in myself?
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