I think I’m going to text my ex for closure. Should I and if so, how should I handle it?

Anonymous
I haven’t talked to my ex in over a year. I haven’t wanted to see him or talk to him but deep down I feel that closure would help me let go of something that had been burdening me for this entire time-shame. There were many reasons why I felt ashamed of how things ended. The biggest reason for my shame was the repulsion at how I had been trying restore the dead relationship with overwhelming questions and multiple times reaching out to him trying to talk and ask for answers. The other reason for my shame was because, in a state of oblivion, I had continued to act on my love for this particular ex when I had no idea that he was preparing to drop me but he was getting his fill before doing so. Anyway, I want closure. I felt that it was impossible to get closure until just now. I typed his phone number in and suddenly, the possibility of getting
closure was just a text away. And all I had to do was drop my pride. I haven’t typed in a single word because I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to feel stupid again and it’s enough to make me never ever want to text him again. I don't know if he has a girlfriend right now but i honestly don’t care about that. I just want answers. But I’m hesitating a lot. I don't know what to do
Updates:
1 mo
Thanks everyone for your answers. I never texted him and I never will. I realize that I was just having one of those “overthinking” moments and I don’t deserve to go through this anymore. So no matter what, I’m going to work on pushing this out of my mind and moving on. And I’m going to use all your help as a reference when I feel like I want closure I can remind myself that I have what I need to move on for good
I think I’m going to text my ex for closure. Should I and if so, how should I handle it?
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