Is telling my ex about my assault seen as manipulative?

Anonymous
We’d been together for about 9 months and lived together 5. I had an abusive relationship with mom, moved out and around month 7 I got my own place.

A week before we broke up. I was sexually assaulted at a house party. I know clothing doesn’t matter but I was completely covered. The next day I was a mess. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. I was harassed at age 10 and rape at 19 & 20 (1 by tinder date/other by a previous ex). I didn’t tell him what happened but I acted clingy, begging for him to come over. He already had plans with friends and that he’d see me for our date on Tuesday.

Tuesday came I was a mess. I got defensive with him because he wanted to have sex in the car. Any other time I would but his car reminded me of my rape and I freaked out. I thought he was getting mad at me because I didn’t want to have sex and told him off but that wasn’t the case. We had another fight later (diff topic) but was resolved with a compromise.
We broke up a week later. The break up was weird because he kept telling me how much he thought I was beautiful and everything he liked about me but this he wasn’t sure if this was it.

I wrote him a email explaining my behavior that night and lightly why it happened. apologized and wanted to make it up to him by re starting and ask him out to tea. I’m afraid that telling him is seen as manipulation to get him to come back which is not how I want things to go.
if I can fix it I will but please no let go or move on. I’ve been doing work got a new job everything. I want heal this relationship because it’s a good one when it’s balanced
Is telling my ex about my assault seen as manipulative?
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