A guy I slept with is blackmailing me (long story)?

Anonymous
Please please no judgment on this I know I fucked up. So for a month and a half, my husband and I were separated due to a rumor of him cheating. He was in a bad car accident (he was drinking, drugging, and driving) a few weeks ago and he reached out to me, so we reconnected and started talking things through. Turns out he didn’t cheat, it’s just a big complicated situation but bottom line is this girl is psycho and he didn’t cheat. I always half joked with him that if he cheated on me I’d sleep with all his friends to show him how it feels. It was only slightly a joke. Not knowing that this whole thing was a rumor, I slept with 2 of his friends at first. Another one of his friends is who reached out to me about the accident, that my husband wanted to know if it was ok to call me. I was drunk and conflicted about it, so I talked on the phone with his friend and let it slip that I slept with the 2. Friend 3 said something like “Can I get in on that?” So we very drunkenly agreed that I’d spend the night the next day.
The next morning my husband and I were video chatting and the previous night’s plans were nothing to me. My husband stopped talking and started smiling as he typed. I asked why, he said “(His ex fiancé) messaged me. Hold on.” I got mad. I said like “Block her immediately if we’re gonna be together that’s not happening.” He said they’re just friends and he’d been talking to her for guidance which I still don’t know if I believe. But he agreed, and asked me to add her in case she needed to talk to him, I could instead because she was going through a hard time. I said fuck no and he got pissy, defending her. I said I’d add her for a little bit but wasn’t gonna become friends with her. Whatever. That kinda blew up and he said he and I had to be completely together or completely apart, even though I said I wanted to take things slow. He changed our nicknames from cute names to our normal names, said never mind on everything, told me to stop saying “I love you”
Updates:
11 mo
Just little things. Then he stopped talking to me so I said I was going to get cigarettes, to which he didn’t reply and he blocked me. I ended up going to friend 3’s house and turning my phone off. We had sex like... a lot. The next day when I got home, my husband changed his mind and wanted to talk things through again. I met up with him that night and we’ve been back together since. This was almost 3 weeks ago and friend 3 has become his BEST friend. We all hang out almost every day. At first
11 mo
It was awkward and we didn’t talk, but now he keeps making me do things, threatening to tell my husband. Like buy him cigarettes because he’s only 19, buy him food, etc. Yesterday we were at his house and my husband went to the bathroom. Friend put his hand on my thigh and started kissing my chest. I told him to stop and he kinda just gave me his look and he kept doing it till my husband came out of the bathroom. I feel horrible and disgusting. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.
A guy I slept with is blackmailing me (long story)?
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