How can you get your ex back?

[Anonymous]

Did you dump him or did he dump you?

I’ve been in both positions. I can say the dumper has much more power than the dumpee. It’s really up to them. But sometimes the dumpee mourns their loss, moves on and finds they are happier without them. They might find someone else. So the dumper can’t be too confident they will jump right back. The dumpee might miss their ex but they were hurt in the past. They will trust the dumper much less.

I still got heartbreak over an ex from a little over 6 years ago. I’ve been in two other relationships since but it didn’t really help quell that. I really wanted closure over something unexpected and extremely callous she did to me after we split. For a long time I was confident that we would one day reunite to discuss it.

But I was wrong. She never reached out to discuss it and/or apologize. I would of not taken that as an open door to get back. No.

After the incident I made lots of stupid creepy mistakes trying to communicate with her to start a dialogue to get to the nasty dark issue. She did respond but usually curtly. I finally wrote her a very carefully written email being honest. Promised to never message her again.

In the email I told her how I screwed up and her decision to break up was justified. Told her what I really wanted (closure not getting back together). Told her about her actions afterwards deeply injured me. Told her I forgave her. I also apologized for my borderline stalkerish behavior. It’s literally impossible to justify that but I never in my life took an inexplicable insult like that. Injured me to my soul.

If would almost be worth a restraining order to find out why she did what she did. I didn’t get a restraining order of course (or even a warning from anyone) and I would never harm her or anyone else. But it fucked me up big time.

Anyway you have to shut the door on the past to look into the future.

[JustinTheGreat]

You don’t. They’re an ex for a reason sis. If they don’t want you back, then stop trying

[LovingLover]

I'm gonna actually answer the question unlike these advice givers.
I did have reason to take the ex back and we did have good non deal breaking reasons to split. The odds against us. We did not split because of not wanting each other..

Well God. I would hope your tongue was controlled before the split 😅...

1) I continued being warm with him.. but didn't prioritize excess time with him
2) I was dating others (learning experience about what I actually want)
3) I was pretty clear... not expecting him to read my mind... honest... nut communication manner and style is important... blame free and less words
4) educated myself
I can message private if you want links on this (free)

[SaiyenBloodd]

The universe works in funny ways. They come back when you truly don’t want them back

[Makeushiver]

Don't even try because it could turn him off. I think he would be more interested if you acted as if you had never had a relationship. If he sees or hears about you dating other guys, that; I believe, would work than anything. Also, clinginess or neediness can be a turn off for most men and women.
It's impossible to change the way a person feels. Unless it was an argument over something trivial that got blown out of proportion and one of you is going to eat crow and apologize. If it's because of the way he feels. it would just make it worse.

[Anonymous]

Well there's no set rules to this but it comes with some changes and/or time in my case we broke up and didn't talk for 2 and a half months, talked about what happened then slowly talked like every few weeks or so to check in then I realized I was being somewhat flirty and he was too and talking to him caused my heart to leap so after months of slowly talking I asked him if he wanted to try again and not because I'm lonely but because I genuinely still care and could tell that when we broke up it wasn't the end but new we both needed change.

[prettyboyjones]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who says you don't want your ex back.
You might think you do but you don't. Instead of focusing on the parts you miss, think about why y'all broke up. That oughtta set ya straight.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I'd have to overthrow the CCP to get her back. Not likely. A few of the others are dead. Might make more sense right now, to focus on starting life over somewhere new.

[glock33sig357]

Show her you can be happy with someone else and watch her try to compete with the other woman to win you back, even to offer to do things she never did with you to win you back.

[apollo3000]

Well, if you didn't morally mess it up, it's easy. Attraction doesn't fade, you can only mess it up.
If you did, then you'll have to change your ways, demonstrate it is so, show you are (profoundly) sorry - and give him a chance to take you back.

[BadMedicine95]

Why you split up is important. If someone isn't happy though, they deserve to be left alone. I mean, guilting someone CAN work, but you won't be two people in love. You'll have one in love and another who feels both bad and miserable.

[sensible27]

You buy a coke and mix it with 2/3 rd pepsi that shouldd do the trick. Seriously though/on a serious note, depends on the reason for the split up doesn't it... do they still like you? Change?

[MannMitAntworten]

I wish. Our end still mystifies me and everyone else.

[Dargil]

Never, ever look back. You broke up for a reason. Returning to an ex corrupts the heart.

[Dchrls78104]

You really want him back? Start by talking. Promise to do things differently and keep that promise.

[Bang5luts]

Relationshi rewind. Search for it on duckduckgo dot com

[McKellar]

Mine left me 14 years ago,... I'm pretty sure I'm not getting her back.

[Thecrazylucaone]

They always come back believe me but not when you want them to , they always come back when you moved on and forgot about about them 🙃

[redvelvetcx]

There’s no answer to that question. It varies by the situation

[ChocoBrownieMonster]

telling him your sexual performance has increased and you squirt when you orgasm.

[YHL6965]

I don't think you should since you are exes for a reason.

[legalboxers]

Pray to St. Anthony.. I have been.. for..1.. month.. now. I need holy water.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

All I would have to do is make my social media accounts searchable again. she'd find me

[jshm2]

You don't. It's why she's your ex.

[240771damog]

My advice, don’t they are an ex for a reason!

[burlen]

If only they want you back. Simple!

[dudeinohio]

You dont. You move on

[jjj101010]

Depends why they r u split up

[SphynxUK]

I wouldn’t want them back.

[skunkbeard68]

To late for that run away while you still can!

[Cryptic-Game]

No idea but I wouldn't try to.

[Flower7]

It's best not to.

[asshole_]

you don't

[FearlessGoat]

Don’t just move on