Am I an asshole for leaving my boyfriend because I started randomly thinking of my ex?

So, for context, my ex and I were together for 9 years off and on. I was madly in love with him and ultimately, it was his decision to call it quits. It destroyed me and I spent 2 years afterwards trying to piece everything back together. I finally found myself in a position where I didn't think about him and I was happy again, so I moved on. I didn't go out looking for my boyfriend, I just played it day by day and it kind of happened (with the push from our mutual friend of course).

So, my boyfriend is a damn good guy. We have been together for 2 years. However, as time goes on I find little things popping up that remind me of my ex. They look similar (now that my boyfriend has lost weight and working on his health), they both have the same attitude, they are both interested in the same things, etc. As I said, the similarities are becoming more and more noticable as time passes (I think this has a lot to do with my boyfriend getting his confidence back after losing the weight). He even talks just like my ex, in a sense of how he talks to me.

So about 2 months ago it kind of hit me full force. Probably due to quarantine and having so much time on my hands. I just have started thinking about my ex damn near constantly and it bothers me a great deal for a multitude of reasons. I have no intention of reaching out to my ex. I have him blocked off everything. However, the guilt still got the best of me and I told my boyfriend that we should take some time away from eachother because it's not fair to him that I have thoughts about my ex. He insists on wanting to make it work and I definitely want to but I still feel insanely disgusted by the idea of being with someone and cheating them out of full happiness because my heart isn't 100% in it at this moment in time.

My friends say I am being selfish and that I won't find a guy better. They are more than likely right about that. he's a god send. But I feel selfish staying because I can't keep my thoughts off my ex.
Am I an asshole for leaving my boyfriend because I started randomly thinking of my ex?
Add Opinion