Is it ok to message an ex for closure, even in a long term relationship?

Anonymous
I dated a man who was heavily addicted to meth for about 3 years off and on in my early 20s. It was clearly a painful experience, I ended up using as well a few times. Thankfully I never became addicted and eventually blocked him from everything and actually found someone new who treated me the way I was hoping. I’ve been dating the new man for 3 years now, but I am still so very haunted from my past. There is NO closure from my previous relationship. I have nightmares, think about it often, and worry about running into him. I just sent this message to my ex with the hope of closure: hi, it’s M. I don’t desire to have a long conversation but I’m basically here for one thing. Which is that I’d hope for us to individually find closure from our past. It’s been a while now and life is short. I am not here with the intention to reopen old wounds but rather to acknowledge the scars and then to continue on. I don’t know if you’re open to that, and if not I at least just want to apologize for the sick things I’ve said in the past and any further pain I had caused throughout your addiction. I hope your life is better now and that you’ve healed through a lot of it. I would think you’d probably be in agreement as well that it’s best we continue to live our lives separately for our own health and honestly sanity , but hopefully there’s no bad blood and that’ll make us feel better just living. The past is something I don’t look at fondly , and when I come across old things I really do not recognize myself in how I acted. But drugs are wild and it did happen. Stay you, M. Was this the right way of putting it without hurting anybody in the process? I’m anxious but so badly just want to move in even more from that situation and I feel like the only way is to have a conversation with him.
Is it ok to message an ex for closure, even in a long term relationship?
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