Why is my girlfriend still talking with her ex?

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 5 months now and I love her with all my heart. I know she's the one I want to marry and I already bought an engagement ring. However a couple weeks ago her ex started calling her. Her ex had broken up with her then gone to basic training for the army and just got a phone. She tells me that I am the best thing that ever happened to her and that she wants to marry me, but she still has feelings for her ex. I understand the feelings she has because I had a long relationship once too, and I know that it takes a while to get over them. I don't like her talking to him because he talks like they are still together but she still wants to be friends with him so I tell her it's ok. However, last night they talked about the sex that they had among other things. I don't like that she talks to him like that, how can I make her stop without making her dislike me for not letting her talk to him?

Now my girlfriend has informed me that over Christmas break she may be spending the night at his house. She had planned on seeing him one day which I was ok with, but when she told me she might stay the night I had no idea what to do.
She tells me that if I trusted her I would be fine with it because nothing is going to happen, they're just friends, and I believe her. That doesn't make me any more comfortable with it though. I'm confused.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok if I were you I would be very unhappy with my girlfriend. She and her ex will always be close because they were together for so long but she definitely needs to respect you and not talk about things like sex with him. Plus I think it is not right for her to be sleeping at her house- totally inappropriate and that will just make you feel awkward. I say you should sit her down and you two should talk about this because the situation will only get worse. You can't say she can't talk to him because he obviously was an important person in her life. I suggest you talk about how uncomfortable you become when she talks to him. Also tell her that talking about things like sex with him is not okay with you. She might be mad for a while but I definitely think you need to do this. Hope this helps!


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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't see how she can say she needs this to get over him, from my experience time away from people helps me move on, not spending the night with him. And if she isn't over him, why is she with you? Witch brings me to another question why has he contacted her again? Espically if it was he who ended the relationship between the two.this may mean he wants her back.and boy if you really do mean it when you say this girl is the one you want to marry and you truelly love her then you have to fight for her.don't let her spend the night with someone who may or may not want her back.but you should take into consideration that she isn't lying to you and told you that it is his house she will be staying the night at and she has been speaking to him again, so at least you know she's not lying to you and going behind your back.so that could be a good thing.hope that helped abit

  • well does she have other guy friends? or is it just her ex? because if its just her ex & she's giving him special treatment compared to her other guy friends then idk. watch out, she misses him. Don't let them get to close b.c if they do, then she might break up with you and go back to him.

    trust me b.c I'm a girl &I've had something like this, but we weren't as serious.

    But seriously.does she have other guyfriends that she treats the same?

    • She has other guy friends, but I don't think she treats them as well as him. She treats me better than him though.

  • i'd say it's all bad news unfortunately. every time I talked to an ex during a relationship it was because I missed them. I think you need to tell her she needs to pick one or the other

    • I told her that, and she said she chose me, but she still insists on going to his house and staying the night, she says it's what she has to do to get over him.

    • Yea I would def talk to her about her and don't let her sleep over that's stupid even for her to even consider it

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