How would you feel if you received this text from an ex that made you hate yourself?

Anonymous
We dated for a year. She told me I made her hate herself and she hasn’t moved on (2 months ago we broke up.) I had been going through some mental stuff which is never an excuse but I was distant. Sometimes I’d take her for granted. I never told her she was ugly or a bitch, or cheated on her. I was going through some stuff so I put myself first.
I still love her. I know she still loves me. But she’s hurting. She said pls don’t reach out again. I don’t care about getting her back, I want to make her feel better. I care so much about her and it’s tearing me up knowing she’s hurting.
she thinks I’m manipulative because I sent her roses and a note after we broke up. Expressing my love, etc. was it manipulative? I wasn’t trying to be :( I even said “I don’t want to get back together because I want to, I want to because WE want to.”

I want to send her this:
Hey, I know I said I’d leave you alone, and for a long time I was doing really good with that. But it’s tearing me up inside knowing you’re hurting to the extent you are. I want to be here for you 100% night and day... I think you deserve that. I’m so sorry for everything. I wish I could apologize in person, because it carries a lot more weight when it’s in person and you know it’s genuine. But I guess this is all I can do. Here are 5 things I admire about you: 1) your inner-child. Like in a good way. You’re so young-spirited and I really admire that. It’s kind of adorable, and it makes your nature so warm. 2) your singing, I really think your voice is amazing, I should have complimented it more. I still have the recordings from when I saw you perform at the contest if you ever want them. 3) your beauty (duh). As bullshit as it sounds, I mean this 100%, and I cannot explain why I feel this way... but every girl I’ve met... they all pale in comparison to you. There’s something about you... I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I (and so many other people) genuinely believe you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.
Updates:
1 mo
Continued text:
4) compassion. You’re really compassionate with others, even when they don’t deserve your compassion. I’ve never met someone so caring for others. 5) your drive. You have drive like no one else, that I’ve ever met. You will be an amazing doctor one day, and you continue to be a great teacher and EMT (minus the stealing haha.) I say all of this, not to try and win you back, but to help you love yourself again. I’m not trying to be manipulative here at all.
1 mo
5) your drive. You have drive like no one else, that I’ve ever met. You will be an amazing doctor one day, and you continue to be a great teacher and EMT (minus the stealing haha.) I say all of this, not to try and win you back, but to help you love yourself again. I’m not trying to be manipulative here at all. And I know you don’t trust me to say things like this with zero expectation, but that is exactly what I am doing. No one deserves to hate themselves...
How would you feel if you received this text from an ex that made you hate yourself?
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