Mogtar had poor communication skills back then. He didn't really let her know he was falling out with her. He tried to be cheerful. But Mogtar realize in hindsight that this was leading her on. He didn't communicate that he was losing interest properly. Maybe that is not the case for all people who find stalkers. But Mogtar created one. It wasn't like she was so bad. Mogtar didn't communicate upfront that he lost interest, so maybe she dreamed of a future together and Mogtar didn't properly stop the dream until it was too late and painful.
What caused you to lose interest
She was a difficult one. Give Mogtar ultimatums about choosing between her and friends. Mogtar very young and stupid but can't be bossed around this way, not even now. So he immediately dumped her. She was pretty and seemed social so Mogtar never imagined she would be this way. So he reacted very impulsively the first time he got the ultimatum. Technically she broke up with Mogtar because the ultimatum condition is that she would leave Mogtar. Mogtar accepted that condition.
But immediately after Mogtar accept the condition, she cried and begged and said she was so sorry. But Mogtar already formed image in his mind of us apart. Mogtar already lost all interest at this point. When she showed up at apartment after uninvited many times, Mogtar was only annoyed at her. She was no longer pretty in his eyes. But he let inside out of pity... until he realized the pity was hurting her even more and not letting her find a guy compatible with her.
Would you have still spoken to her if she didn't ' stalk' you
Mogtar still spoke with her after throwing analogical rocks at her. Fortunately, she found boyfriend and got happy. Mogtar glad. Ran into her at night club and she seemed very happy.
I think i became a stalker
Mogtar also become one long ago. But was engaged to be married. She cut off just 2 weeks before marriage. Maybe Mogtar deserved it. Mogtar left roses on her doorstep (Mogtar's own place, by the way -- more like Mogtar's own doorstep).
Mogtar thought if he could just talk to her clearly that she would see things from his point of view. Later Mogtar realized she just wasn't attracted to him anymore. Needed it spelled out, just like the ex who came to Mogtar's apartment.
Mogtar built such big dream around her. He never wanted anything more in his life. He made her more important than anything: family, work, friends, anything. So when she cut it off abruptly (over dumb argument), he lost his way. Didn't have time for dignity. Just wanted to pursue that dream again. It was too big to give up so easily, until Mogtar found her with another guy. Then it finally sank in.
Should I hit rock bottom ; i want to know he doesn't want to talk to me even though it's obvious now
I believe that he might talk to me if I show myself but I know that's desperate of me; we were fine and it ended so suddenly I dream of him and hear him call my name
How do you get rid of a person like that
Mogtar not recommend that. Mogtar did that. Mogtar turned to bottle. Mogtar rejected all friend invites and even family concerns, and concerns from colleagues. Mogtar got arrested and resisted arrest. Mogtar lucky to be here now. Mogtar still have some bad habits from that, even though he married now. Don't go rock bottom. Only hell awaits if you plunge into abyss. Build new dreams, new goals, new friends. If you are so bad that you need a rebirth, then be reborn. Do something. Whatever. Make a goal.
There is no real romance in rock-bottom. It sounds romantic until you try it. There is only misery and pain that echoes for the rest of your life.
You try to be happy. Don't be like a wounded animal. Find a way to heal however you can without him. Healthy, you know. In mind and body. If your mind is ruined, then the body is still a start. Try to have some fun, even if it's miserable at first. Just explore. Explore explore explore. Find something that invigorates your passions again, even if it seems impossible. Ideally it is something, not someone.
Thank you for your wise words 🙏 i will get through one day
Its been 6days since we've last spoke. I still want to remain friends 😪 so I'm here
Wish me luck hope I get rocks thrown at me
Maybe then I'll be at peace
You have any passion from before? Or something you always wanted to do? Do that.
Yes I love cooking but can't eat yet. I have life going for me with school and family I've also picked up korean and violin
I have things to occupy my time and mind but I want him
I know he still feels something for me we just wouldn't work out together it clicks but I still miss his friendship
Just need to keep going with that until he's outta your head. And maybe when he is, and you've almost forgotten, that's when you can talk to him.
Okay i hope thank you
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