Is it ever okay to slap a woman back?

Anonymous
My ex girlfriend hit me and scratched my face for two years before I finally smacked her back to stop her after she hit me one night. She claims her nose was broken (I don't believe her).

She called me an abuser since then everytime she was mad and wanted to get me to submit. I'm a total alpha and people respect me yet I cried and begged for forgiveness many times because I wasn't raised to hit women and I loved her. Yet, she always used that as an end all to win. Not happy with my choice in restaurant? Woman beater. Not happy I worked 80 hours a week and was too tired to go out? Woman beater. Angry I wanted to spend time with friends? Woman beater. You get the picture.

Eventually I stood up for myself and remembered who I was when I was accused of not loving her for not responding to a text in time (I responded in 30 minutes because I was working but she expected an immediate response) and she said she was done with me for not being there for her and beating her.

She said "don't go beat me now" after she broke up with me. I said "Dont hit me first and I will never hit you". Said she never wanted to see or speak to me again blocked me on everything and threatened a restraining order after 5 years together.

Long story short. She is toxic and abusive. And I am foolish for letting her get me this bad.

What would you do if you were in my shoes given the context?
Is it ever okay to slap a woman back?
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