a relationship I had for a year and four months just ended today. I dont know where else to go. I dont feel like talking about it with my closest friends. which is weird because I always want to tell them everything. during our relationship I cried a lot. he wasn't a toxic partner at all, it was all on me. I love him a lot. we broke up and I am surprised with myself that I am not crying right now. instead I feel nothing, which I dont understand. does this mean I didn't love him? am I a cold hearted person? very stupid to say but this Id rather cry all night than being like this. I hate this. I feel so trapped.