What limits would you put to the purging of friends and family from your social circle?

Question

On social media and G@G this translates as simple blocks, IRL it's more of a ghosting, face-to-face talk and legal threats when necessary.
I'm currently preparing a massive purge of both people on G@G and IRL family and friends, but I don't want to overdo it like last time.
How do you define the parameters and limits for an healthy social purge?

Updates:

1 y

Christmas purge is going way better than I thought, could fit some 20 or 30 people

Answer 1

BeenThereLovedIt

Yoda

First you stop using the term "purge". Family is family. Some are toxic, but if you have political or religious differences that are tearing you apart, then you need to just keep that to yourself and communicate with them on other levels. Same with everyone else in your life.

I don't understand why everyone has to take a flame-thrower to every problem they come across? Ghosting someone is simple cowardice. I get it if it's someone you got into a political argument with here or something and then you block them when they get aggressive, but after dates, family, friends? That's just hiding from being a decent person and powering through the difficult conversations that come with life.

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Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
It's less about politics - about which I don't really care - and just getting rid of useless people.
And more than ghosting, I think that IRL it works better to outright tell them how useless they are or threaten them the consequences if they don't get out of the way.
BeenThereLovedIt

1 y
I don't know your circumstances, but you mentioned that you've purged more than once. Sounds like you are making poor choices if you have to continually do it. I'm suggesting you maybe consider that it's not everyone else that is the problem. I say this not to be mean, but to be helpful.
Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
My problem is letting in people who proves themselves to be incompetent, disloyal or enemies.
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BeenThereLovedIt

1 y
You have many enemies? You seem to be suspicious of everyone in your life, that doesn't seem typical. I don't believe I have any enemies in that capacity.
Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
I have the right amount of caution when dealing with everyone.
Yoi never know when they might stab you in the back. Always be on guard.

Answer 2

Jean-Marie_Céline

It's less about politics - about which I don't really care - and just getting rid of useless people.
And more than ghosting, I think that IRL it works better to outright tell them how useless they are or threaten them the consequences if they don't get out of the way.

Answer 3

BeenThereLovedIt

I don't know your circumstances, but you mentioned that you've purged more than once. Sounds like you are making poor choices if you have to continually do it. I'm suggesting you maybe consider that it's not everyone else that is the problem. I say this not to be mean, but to be helpful.

Answer 4

Jean-Marie_Céline

My problem is letting in people who proves themselves to be incompetent, disloyal or enemies.

Answer 5

BeenThereLovedIt

You have many enemies? You seem to be suspicious of everyone in your life, that doesn't seem typical. I don't believe I have any enemies in that capacity.

Answer 6

Jean-Marie_Céline

I have the right amount of caution when dealing with everyone.
Yoi never know when they might stab you in the back. Always be on guard.

Answer 7

Kaazsz

Yoda

Pretty much anyone who takes away from your goals and happiness. It’s YOUR life, not theirs. Only you can live your life. Anyone who fucks with that gets deleted.

Obviously, some people you don’t want to delete. Like your parents. Maybe you love them even though they are ignorant and toxic. That’s how I feel about my parents.

So I try to find a work around but I have t figured it out yet. For now I pretty much have my family on ignore. And maybe I’ll see and interact with them again later on. I don’t know. But for now they get in my way.

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1 Person

Answer 8

girlqs

Xper 1

People should do whatever makes them comfortable re:blocking, ghosting, whatever. That kind of thing is like... if my cousin blocks me, I KNOW we're not people who would get along anyway. Depending on what you think the reason is it might legitimately just be that you're morally opposed (i. e. I have a cousin that blocked me because I'm bi and she doesn't think I'm a human being). And that person doesn't deserve your patience anyway.

Legal moves though are more personal and require confrontation.

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Answer 9

iseekpinetrees | 65 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Guru

Well I'm curious why you want to purge on socials? It really matters to you if many people look at your stuff? I understand if u hate like 1 or 2 people but like 10 or so? Why? I honestly see no point in mass purging. But since you are fond of the idea I guess just keep the people you like best.

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Answer 10

Sessy

Xper 3

You have to teach people how to treat you. Some people have bad behaviors or habits, but if you let them know your standards and their behavior is not acceptable then they have a chance to correct it.

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1 Person

Answer 11

SuccessfulHornDog | 390 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

Who are you purging?
Do you want them to be aware of your action?

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1 Person

Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
On here, mostly nobodies.
IRL, mostly family and some close friends.
For the people here it doesn't change if they are aware or not, but I want some of the people IRL to really suffer.
SuccessfulHornDog

1 y
You can let it be known that you are cutting them off and why by telling others in the family. That way they will know that you are doing it. Otherwise they might not be sure if you are ignoring them or just haven't been able to get in touch with them

Answer 12

Jean-Marie_Céline

On here, mostly nobodies.
IRL, mostly family and some close friends.
For the people here it doesn't change if they are aware or not, but I want some of the people IRL to really suffer.

Answer 13

SuccessfulHornDog

You can let it be known that you are cutting them off and why by telling others in the family. That way they will know that you are doing it. Otherwise they might not be sure if you are ignoring them or just haven't been able to get in touch with them

Answer 14

Anonymous

Have you seriously considered purging yourself? Or at least getting some sort of therapy? You're the only common denominator in all of these purging situations you keep bringing up. Thus logic dictates that the problem is always you, or you're just simply paranoid.

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Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
I've tried sending everyone away and distance myself from all of them, but they stuck on worse than lice.

Answer 15

Jean-Marie_Céline

I've tried sending everyone away and distance myself from all of them, but they stuck on worse than lice.

Answer 16

Redstang88 | 81 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

I don’t keep people around that I don’t want in the first place

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Answer 17

Ruenella_

Xper 5

Blocking en masse lol It's never that deep. You have to be heavily invested in this app and easily offended to do that.

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Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
This app is an after thought, I'm doing this IRL too.
A Christmas clean up.

Answer 18

Jean-Marie_Céline

This app is an after thought, I'm doing this IRL too.
A Christmas clean up.

Answer 19

Snakeyes7 | 109 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Guru

If they ever talk bad of my other friends behind their back and ignoring my demands to take it up with them.

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Answer 20

winterfox10

Master

If the person leaves you feeling worse than you felt before dealing with them; axe 'em.

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1 Person

Answer 21

Anonymous

I think when people irl block you on certain things but unblock you on the things that hurt you.. bye bye

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Answer 22

zagor | 180 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

Why do feel compelled to do so?

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Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
Makes me feel better m

Answer 23

Jean-Marie_Céline

Makes me feel better m

Answer 24

msc545 | 269 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Guru

None. If I need them to go, they go.

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1 Person

What limits would you put to the purging of friends and family from your social circle?

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