Would no Contact rule work on my ex girlfriend?

Question

We've been friends for about a year in college and then we started dating each other for the last 18 months. We're both the same age (20). We always talk to each other every single day and it was our first relationship together. I thought we were both happy and I was going to meet her parents until COVID happen. During the summer we would hangout like in parks but really couldn't do much. Once when my ex started to work we didn't went out for the last 4 months since I had a parent at risk and my ex was working in a place where they get a positive covid test each time she works there.

Then near last month she started to get not affectionate and a bit distant. But we were still chatting constantly and then mid December she told me that she wanted to break up with me because she loss feelings for me. Literally a day before this we started to play a new game together. So at first I was confused but then I told her that we could take a two week break and see if that would work with no contact. During the one week mark I sent her a big letter just telling her that I understand the mistakes I made and what I would do to fix them. After the two week break I told her the same thing again and she just told me that she still felt the same way and was to tired to invest in our relationship. She's willing to be friends again but after when our feelings are gone in one to two months. Then she also included how the reasons were basically that we just haven't been seeing each other that much and other little reasons piled up.

Now I've been just heartbroken and can't get her off my mind. I miss her and I truly do want her back. It's only been a few days and none of us has contacted each other after the break up. I also still notice that she still shares me her location and still looks at my snapchat stories which I don't get. I'm now wondering if I should just go into like a 30-45 day no contact and if that would work.

Updates:

4 mo

Update: It's been three months since the breakup and yeah I ended up did contact her a few days ago once when my mind was in a better state. I still have feelings for her so I asked how she was doing. She was really dry (as in like just answering the question and that's it) and would respond once a day. It lasted for about 3 days and she told me "sorry I don't want to text with you". So no contact didn't work in my case as there's no chance of reconciliation with her now. Thanks for the advices!

Answer 1

SueShe | 188 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Influencer

As soon as one party invokes the "taking a break" reason, you can bet that this limited time break is more likely to be permanent.

If someone needs a break from another person, there are too many obstacles within this relation for it to work out. A break is not fixing the roots of the problems but only give a temporary time off from each other. As soon as you get back together, you tend to fall back into the old routine after a while and the problems are not solved.

It is much better to take this time out and to consider it as a permanent break in the relation. A relation that needs a time out will never work on the long run.

Take this time to readjust your thoughts and make new plans without your girlfriend. It is probably not easy but it is the only reasonable thing to do. A relation that was on the brink once is not likely to improve and by attempting to fix what cannot be fixed, you are only wasting time and making the relation become progressively toxic.

Asker

6 mo
This was well technically our first break. Before hand we would always address the issues together and work things out. But I guess this time we weren't able to address the issue :/.

Answer 2

Asker

This was well technically our first break. Before hand we would always address the issues together and work things out. But I guess this time we weren't able to address the issue :/.

Answer 3

Account | 257 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

Do not contact her.
You already did your part.
Stop and move on, otherwise you will look desperate.
If she still wants you, she will contact you herself.

Answer 4

Chriscunning | 95 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Xper 6

I think you already put yourself out there saying "Hey, I'm sorry and willing to try". I feel the 'ball is in her court'. I would let her come back to you, if she does take it from there, if she doesn't then so be it.

The "we can be friends" is a nice way of saying "I am not interested" without hurting your feelings.

I would focus on the break-up and get over it. I do know a lot of girls come back and I know a lot that don't. Don't wait. Close the door and focus on you, if she comes around before you got it totally closed, well lucky her.

Answer 5

melnc | 1.6K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Influencer

There's no specific trick to moving on. I mean, moving on from a relationship that wasn’t working is about embracing yourself. So, the sooner you accept the reality of the breakup, the sooner you can start facing your future. It hurts, but it’s the best way to move forward with your life. Sometimes, the only way to let go is to love someone enough to want the best for them, even if that means not being together.

Answer 6

Kabluie

Yoda

I'd let the break carry on, let the wounds heal kind of thing and take up the friends after a few months in a casual manner.

Asker

6 mo
Yeah, I think I'll just recover and improve myself during the break. Then try taking it as friends and see where that goes with the open mind of reconcillation

Answer 7

Asker

Yeah, I think I'll just recover and improve myself during the break. Then try taking it as friends and see where that goes with the open mind of reconcillation

Answer 8

Avicenna | 1.3K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

Yes, but you should tell her in advance

Asker

6 mo
Hi,
I'm not sure though since we haven't messaged each other since the break up which was about 6 days ago

Answer 9

Asker

Hi,
I'm not sure though since we haven't messaged each other since the break up which was about 6 days ago

Answer 10

Iron_Man | 1.6K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

You can try it

Would no Contact rule work on my ex girlfriend?

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