Is it reasonable to break up with someone due to their declining hygiene?

[AlexAndriatg111]

Yes and no. Too many variables. Too many variables period. What is your idea of brushing teath. Once, twice, four times a day. Are you wealthy refined to an extreme, are you blue collar making more money than a university degreed school teacher, ,,,, a construction worker in a skilled trade, that makes 45,000 dollars more than a college graduate. This question based on your age leaves way too much to the imagination. I'm being perfectly honest. This question is directly related to socio economic status. Just don't know the facts on his teeth brushing habits. Yes its gross to kiss and feel unclean teeth. But what grosses you out in your life, may not be the same in another couple's life. If you're a perfect proper angel, that's one thing, but some adults like to work hard, party, and camp for example. I make great money, but doing certain things based on lifestyle often cares less about hygiene. I could be hung over, but I clean up, deodorant, brushing teeth, etc, but not perfect depending on so many things. My question will always be, what is it that the man finds repulsive about her, that he doesn't want to say. It's not just hygiene, its bad habits period. I remember when I was about 24, good teeth, good brushing habits, but not perfect when alone. This girl I met for a date within less than a minute demanded to see my teeth. If a person is that superficial, not realizing the hundred qualities someone has, verses a couple flaws, that can be corrected through basic communication by both individuals , if not, if its a deal breaker then move on, but not before learning your countless imperfections. Im not dumb, im not going to be with someone that repeatedly has disgusting under arm smell. Or their feet wreak. To be honest, as imperfect as I am, basic hygiene is absolutely necessary. Its just this, what is their level of hygiene. Under what situations, life, work, class, socio economic status. A female dentist might find me disgusting, compared to her expectations, but a man might find a woman disgusting because she suddenly/progressively gained 30 pounds. The question leaves so many factors out

[Skankhunt]

The questioon should be "why did his hygiene declined in the first place? Is he depressed, or did a family member died etc?

Second, it's disgusting to be with someone who has poor hygiene, however, instead of complaining about his hygiende, your girlfriend could also help him by talking with him about the situation. If something is wrong (depression, death of a family member etc), your girlfriend can support him and help him to get out of this situation or stand beside him for emotional support.

Third, if there is nothing wrong with him and he is just lazy, dump him.

However, if someone else's hygiene is declining, most likely there is something wrong, probably psychologically (depression etc). People who are depressed spend a little or no time at all about there hygiene, why would they. They don't see life as colorful as someone who isn't depressed. They don't care at all.

So, this might be a serious situation. Find out what really is going on. Take action.

[Screenwriter]

This is an interesting question: Usually people become lax on hygiene due to DEPRESSION.
There is one other reason that might have nothing to do with depression, that is actually FAR WORSE: the honeymoon period is OVER for this guy. He's been with your friend long enough to where he feels comfortable and he drops his "good impression" actions.
He's acting as he normally does. Doesn't brush his teeth that often and doesn't shower regularly. SO HE STINKS!!!
This is a rational reason to drop this dude.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? He's used to living with GOATS?
Get far away. So far you can't smell him!!! UGGGGHHHHH!!!

[shafvron]

If she has voiced her opinion on it and gave her ex time to change their habits or confided it then no. Some things people have as deal breakers that’s okay. You shouldn’t be made to settle for someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to be around due to habits they can easily change.


However, it may be some sort of worsening mental health issue and if that’s the case I would have just made sure to tell their buddies to be on the look out for if they may be depressed or something before hand but 10/10 she shouldn’t be staying just for that reason.

[justaspacerockthing]

i think it was fair of her, if it was his personal choice. because once that begins to decline other things in his life could become neglected too. plus that's not very sanitary. although, there could be a serious reason why he's not doing those things as much anymore. he could be suffering from a mental illness, in which case i don't think breaking up with him was the best idea. she shouldve helped him somehow if that was the case. so it really just depends on the reason why he's not keeping up with his hygiene.

[Jjpayne]

I think it depends... For me, love should be greater than hygiene. But if a lack of brushing led to a dirty mouth. Or a lack of showering led to bad b. o.Or even worse, not cleaning your privates... Just the thought of that is spookyBut here's the thing. We are all human, we all have flaws. But it does make a difference how bad the persons hygiene really is. I think at least one toothbrushing a day and toothbrushing and flossing before intimacy. And at least one shower a day. If they go days without brushing or showering... Unless they are depressed that's kinda of a deal breaker

[Lionman95]

I´d it is because if I person has a declining hygiene, I´d say he/she doesn´t really care about her hygiene it means in my view, they don´t care and don´t love themselves. How could they love you if they don´t love themselves. I don´t think it´s a good foundation for a relationship.

[lilyanony1]

Sounds like depression for him. Because being clean is a normal desire. I can only say she did the right thing for herself and her boyfriend long term. Because she can't help him and he needed a wake up call. And I have a feeling his depression may actually improve now she's gone.

Sometimes you can stick at it with someone and help them pull through, but part of being an adult is being responsible and knowing your limitations then deciding how you can work on that.

[WindAtMyBack]

I'd say so yea. I think she should try to get him to clean up his act first before dumping him. I don't think partners should be "polite" with something like this. They should come right out and tell the person they stink and need to do something about it.

Was this because of video games by chance? I've known game addicts who completely neglected themselves, failed in school, lost real life friends, etc.

[jgokgotit]

This is one of those thin line situations. On one hand, it might seem shallow. On the other hand, if someone does not care about themselves then how much of a burden would they become if you're married and their health declines when it was totally preventable? It also depends why. Was he depressed and it was temporary or is he just lazy? Without more information I cannot honestly answer this question.

[Anonymous]

That depends on the severity of the issue. If he skips brushing his teeth every now and then because he doesn't feel like it, that's his problem, but if he refuses to shower to the point that's being around him becomes unbearable, then yes. Also, if you're too lazy to brush your teeth you're probably not a great help around the house, either.

[JPrez]

Smart woman. If the guy can't make himself presentable on a regular basis, then he is also probably not able to do it consistently at a job and being a boyfriend and/or spouse. A well disciplined man can clean himself up every day before he takes on the day.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Yes. A girlfriend isn't her boyfriend's keeper or mother or grandmother or whatever parental figure.

Brushing and basic hygiene is important. Sucks to suck if someone's dumb enough to learn that the hard way.

[Cassie94]

It would be very reasonable to bring up this issue and talk about it. Personal hygiene is very important to me - at least to a basic level - cleaning teeth and showering etc. It could be an issue of laziness or depression that could be worked on - but I think if these hygiene issues became too great and it was almost impossible to be around that person, then yes, I could understand this decision.

[araeyahlove]

i mean as his partner i would be wanting to help him with that problem cause thats not okay but breaking up with him goes as far as how you feel

[MIMOSACHALLENGE]

Yeah I definitely think it's reasonable, as long as you had a conversation with him before and yet if he still continued those habits its reasonable

[Mynameisdom7]

It is absolutely reasonable.
I would be embarrassed to be in public with somebody like that if I were her. It’s unpleasant for everyone. I can only imagine that it’s not comfortable for him either.

[StarryCrossing]

I mean it’s valid, but I would at least talk to them about it before making that decision. Maybe he doesn’t realize he wasn’t taking care of himself.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think it's not too good to break up with someone cause of their hygiene, I believe sitting down and having a talk with them and caring about them means more than just dumping them?

[gangster123]

Happens... we have a daily fight on this.

[tartaarsaus]

I think it’d make sense to first talk about it and what’s causing that decline in hygiene. But yes, in itself a decline in hygiene up to the point where it’s bad is pretty reasonable to break up

[DJB72]

I've heard worse. Maybe she could have had him checked out for depression as personal hygiene routines changing like that is often an early sign, but yes it's OK to break up with a boyfriend/girlfriend for that.

[FlyGirl95]

Yes. If you are not happy then you should not be in that relationship

[pepperhicks]

It is a good reason. Hygiene is a basic thing in his control unless he is ill.