How to break up without hurting her.

Ok so I'm sure it is well known that most guys lack the break up gene. I have never broken up with a girl but I am wanting to break up with my current girlfriend just because things are not quite right and we can't fix anything. I know what it feels like to get dumped without knowing its coming and I know what it feels like to get your heart broken so I want to break up with her hopefully in the kindest way possible. I care about her feelings but I know I need to end it. However I don't know how to go about doing it. I want to do it in person and I don't want to do it during school so please help me out here. sorry for the novel.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honesty is the best way to go. Short term, it hurts like hell. Long term, she will be able to look back and see the problems for what they were and come to terms with it. You will be one of the good guys, when she gets older, because you didn't feed her a line of bullshit just to get off scot free. Instead you respected her enough to tell her the truth.

    Let me tell you - there are a lot of men out there that will feed you a line of bullshit .

    Let her cry and yell at you. Of course she is going to be angry, no one like to be rejected. Don't get defensive, allow her to have her say. She'll probably tell you things you don't want to hear, it's OK, you just broke up with her. No need to "over" comfort her - that might send out the wrong signals.

    Don't feel too bad, you are doing the right thing. Being in an unhappy relationship is like lying - this way she will hopefully be able to move on and find a guy that is just right for her. It's great you're a sensitive guy and I wish you the best.

    If she is psycho - none of the above applies.


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What Girls Said 3

  • It's actually not as hard as it seems. I hate it say it though, but you'll hurt her feelings no matter which way you go about this because let's face it, you don't want to be in a relationship with her anymore. However, you can deffinately do it in a way that will make her feel better and more comfortable. Don't do it so randomly. Invite her over to your place for dinner or ask her if she wants to hang-out after school. Make sure you do it in a familiar place like sitting on your couch or laying in your bed. I think the most important thing you have to do though is let her know that you still love her like a friend and that you'd never want to loose her. Let her know that you care about her and that you'll always be there for her. Tell her that things don't feel right. Let her know that you think it would be better for the both of you because you don't want to hurt her in the future. Make sure she understands exactly why you're doing it, unless its for another gril. leave that out. Let her know that it's because you don't feel the same way you did when you first got together.

    Good Luck!

  • There is no way to break up with someone without hurting them, because no matter what you do if she is into you she will get hurt. But it is good that you want to respect her. just be honest, do it in person when you're both alone, and just talk about it and let her know why you can not contiue seeing her, then wish her the best and leave.

    One time a guy broke up with me and he said: I like you so much and I think you have an amazing personality and you're funny and smart and kind and you're also really hot, and I know I am going to regret this but I can not commit to you and I need to let you go.

    it was the worst breakup I ever had to deal with because he was not honest, if he honestly thought that highly of me he wouldn't of broken up with me, so it just left me confused and hating him. I would have ratherd he just straight up tell me he's just not that into me and he doesn't see us together. don't give her hope, just end it.

  • No matter how you break up with her, it will break her heart. Trust me.

    This is a foolish, but best way for you to break up with her.

    Be an asshole.

    Dont call her, don't text her. Don't see her. Tell her your busy, or something.

    Until SHE decides to break up with you.

    That way she won't be too hurt. Alil angry. But if you don't want to hurt her, then that would be the best way.

    • That's called not facing your problems and putting your head in the sand.

    • Show All
    • I agree, thinking he just gave up will hurt her even more, and she should understand why he wants to break up. Plus, it could affect him negatively in the future if he wants to go out with someone who thinks he will neglect their relationship.

    • Are you crazy? That's terrible. It will hurt her even more for him to do that and he would have taken the coward's way out. I've been dumped like that before and I would have much rather had the guy be man enough to break up with me the right way. It's gonna hurt either way but that kind of break up is just cold.

What Guys Said 5

  • There are no fun breakups. Be direct, be brief, begone. She'll heal.

  • Hey man, start talking to her about where she will be in 10 years. Get into her head on a real level and connect, person to person. There are so many people in this world and if you can get her to buck up and act real for a minute you need to say your peace. She'll understand.

  • The best way to break up with someone without hurting them is in your dreams. Sleep tight.

  • don't say its not you'r fault its just me , be honest with her and tell her the truth and the real reason , do it in person the place you can do it anywhere .

  • tell her how you feel but do it outside but by yourselves explain that you can't have a relationship with her and that you are truly sorry for he will persuade you to get back with her and if you get back with her you will remember why you 2 broke up and it will turn into a game with her and she will think you will just come back to her if she says the right things lieing to her face when you told her you loved her give her a hug then go home and avoid talking to her because s

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