Fear of being blocked and ignored?

Anonymous
We never really dated, we texted once in a while but I had fallen for him, when I realized he wasn't interested in me in that way he only texted me when he needed me) I decided it was time to cut ties and I literally disappeared and deleted my social media because it had become too obsessive and overwhelming to handle and I wanted to focus on my health and life. He also lives and works close to my house so we bumped into each other on the regular but I started to avoid going to his workplace or avoid places where I knew I'd see him. After a month he contacted me but I was cold, he got the message, understood he was the reason behind my disappearance and then I never heard from him again. It's been 3 months since I last saw him and 2 months since he texted me but I constantly fear being blocked by him. I'm also scared that if we bump into each other he will ignore me or won't say hi to me or think I'm a weirdo for disappearing out of nowhere without a reason. Sometimes the temptation to see him is so strong and I hate myself for still not being able to let go of him and stop worrying about what he might do or think. It's ridiculous, I know, but it's like I plan in my mind the day when I'll finally see him (because he works at a grocery store behind my house, I stopped going because of him), I tell myself that when I'll be ready I'll step foot in there again and I have expectations because deep down I want a sort of revenge, I want to look good and be noticed by him, it's immature, I get it but it is what it is.
Fear of being blocked and ignored?
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