How do you prepare yourself to collect your belongings from an ex’s place?

Question

How do you prepare yourself to collect your belongings from an ex’s place. I feel like that is one of the hardest things to do, all this memories keep going on, and false hope what if what if but you need to do it cause it would of never worked out...

Can any of you give me inspiration speech to make it easier.

Updates:

1 y

https://youtube.com/watch?v=dfN7pEGo-II Feel exactly like this song...😔

1 y

I know tomorrow is the day, I can’t even sleep and it’s almost 5 am already. So many worries are going through my mind. I did happen to shut my eye for 5 mins but then I woke up with a dream no don’t leave him but then I remembered it’s been 2 months since we broke up. Now it’s the time, he clearly never loved me. It will be so hard but I must do it...

Answer 1

strykzone

Xper 2

Depends how it ended. If it ended in a positive way, there shouldn't be much issue apart from some slight tender feelings still between you.

If not so good, best to either ask to come when they're not there, or have a list of what is yours ready, if you trust them have them place everything in boxes outside for you to just collect if possible. If you need to interact with them and you don't know how it will go, bring a male friend/relative. I don't recommend anyone take chances if it is a possibility, but only you know your relationship.

As for the pep talk; things end. Sometimes futures made up in our heads are a wonderful thing, but doesn't always turn out so beautifully. Life is going to take you in the direction you need to go, wo don't doubt yourself; you have both been given the opportunity to find new love; better love thst you don't even know about yet. Hindsight is 20/20, you don't know what the future holds til you get there, but I guarantee the you 20 years from now, looking back would have a little chuckle that you were worried over nothing. Next of luck for the future, to both of you ❤️

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
Thank you, such an amazing advice. ❤️ I really should get it done quick and stop doubting in ever finding a guy again. Maybe I’ll need to take some more time off to fully heal, it’s been few months so far... hopefully I will have more luck later on...
strykzone

1 y
Self love and self healing is incredibly important. We can only accept the love that we are willing to accept; sounds strange, but it makes sense: if you love yourself only 20%, if someone comes and loves you 40%, if feels immense, so much more than you are use to... but in reality, it isn't. If you properly love and care for yourself 100%, and someone loves you 40%, you will turn them away, because you KNOW you deserve more, because you know in your heart you would give them 100%. Take care of yourself, do nice things for yourself, and above all: be kind to yourself. We are often our biggest critics, and are far kinder to others than we are ourselves. We need to share some of that love and care we have for others wuth ourselves, too :)

Answer 2

Asker

Thank you, such an amazing advice. ❤️ I really should get it done quick and stop doubting in ever finding a guy again. Maybe I’ll need to take some more time off to fully heal, it’s been few months so far... hopefully I will have more luck later on...

Answer 3

strykzone

Self love and self healing is incredibly important. We can only accept the love that we are willing to accept; sounds strange, but it makes sense: if you love yourself only 20%, if someone comes and loves you 40%, if feels immense, so much more than you are use to... but in reality, it isn't. If you properly love and care for yourself 100%, and someone loves you 40%, you will turn them away, because you KNOW you deserve more, because you know in your heart you would give them 100%. Take care of yourself, do nice things for yourself, and above all: be kind to yourself. We are often our biggest critics, and are far kinder to others than we are ourselves. We need to share some of that love and care we have for others wuth ourselves, too :)

Answer 4

loveslongnails | 376 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

Do it when he's not going to be there.
Bring a couple of girlfriends to help, and for support.
Do it quickly. The faster you get out of there, the better.
Most importantly - DON'T LOOK BACK !!! He's your ex for a reason or reasons, so don't forget what they are.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I did but I miss him
loveslongnails

1 y
Be honest with yourself. What EXACTLY do you miss? The good times? You have the memories. But you said you KNEW it wasn't going to work out. Why? How did you know? Are you sure of your answers to that question, or did someone just cut and run because they were afraid of their feelings? If so, who did - you, him or both of you? Answer those questions internally. And here's another one - did you miss HIM specifically, or do you simply miss having someone in your life?

by the way, I watched the video and it just hits me that it's two people whining about their pain, but I can't sympathize without knowing why. I realize that sometimes "things just don't work out" and there's pain in the separation, but if two people really want to MAKE it work out - they find a way to fix it.
Asker

1 y
Yeah that is true, maybe I should just believe that he didn’t want me nomore so I should move on even though the feeling still there. Well he was a bit stubborn maybe I wasn't perfect either nobody is and here we are single... I don't know what to think but I didn't see it coming
Show All Show Less
loveslongnails

1 y
So he dumped you, completely out of the blue, and gave you no explanation, other than "it's not going to work out?" Is that what happened?
Asker

1 y
Nah it was mutual decision we both said it’s a bad idea to stay together but we never confirmed it. None of us ever reach out to each other and yeah its been now 2 months since that. I thought we will rekindle at some point as we always did but 2 months is abit long time maybe I should forget
loveslongnails

1 y
" we both said it’s a bad idea to stay together but we never confirmed it."
Huh? If you both said it, how is that NOT confirmation? You don't need to say "ok, it's OFFICIALLY a bad idea to stay together, so let's agree to break up". It's sounding more and more like neither one of you are ready to commit to one another in any real way. Ya think?

Answer 5

Asker

I did but I miss him

Answer 6

loveslongnails

Be honest with yourself. What EXACTLY do you miss? The good times? You have the memories. But you said you KNEW it wasn't going to work out. Why? How did you know? Are you sure of your answers to that question, or did someone just cut and run because they were afraid of their feelings? If so, who did - you, him or both of you? Answer those questions internally. And here's another one - did you miss HIM specifically, or do you simply miss having someone in your life?

by the way, I watched the video and it just hits me that it's two people whining about their pain, but I can't sympathize without knowing why. I realize that sometimes "things just don't work out" and there's pain in the separation, but if two people really want to MAKE it work out - they find a way to fix it.

Answer 7

Asker

Yeah that is true, maybe I should just believe that he didn’t want me nomore so I should move on even though the feeling still there. Well he was a bit stubborn maybe I wasn't perfect either nobody is and here we are single... I don't know what to think but I didn't see it coming

Answer 8

loveslongnails

So he dumped you, completely out of the blue, and gave you no explanation, other than "it's not going to work out?" Is that what happened?

Answer 9

Asker

Nah it was mutual decision we both said it’s a bad idea to stay together but we never confirmed it. None of us ever reach out to each other and yeah its been now 2 months since that. I thought we will rekindle at some point as we always did but 2 months is abit long time maybe I should forget

Answer 10

loveslongnails

" we both said it’s a bad idea to stay together but we never confirmed it."
Huh? If you both said it, how is that NOT confirmation? You don't need to say "ok, it's OFFICIALLY a bad idea to stay together, so let's agree to break up". It's sounding more and more like neither one of you are ready to commit to one another in any real way. Ya think?

Answer 11

Anonymous

When I have broken up with someone we give the other our things.
So have never collected my own stuff... Well my latest I technically did, when he wasn't home, he had put it all out on a table and I picked it up and left the key in his mailbox.

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1 Person

Answer 12

sheikalana | 135 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Guru

Get one or two suitcases or a bunch of boxes and pack.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
What about mentally?
sheikalana

1 y
It's going to be hard. But all that is part of breaking up.

Answer 13

Asker

What about mentally?

Answer 14

sheikalana

It's going to be hard. But all that is part of breaking up.

Answer 15

jgokgotit

Yoda

I never take anything to a girlfriend's house that is crucial. If I take an item to her place, it is something I can replace easily. If I am going to initiate the breakup, I start clearing my stuff from her place before I drop the bomb. If she catches me off guard and drops the bomb on me, I just abandon the stuff. Going back to an ex's place is one of the worst things you can do if you truly want to move on.

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1 Person

Answer 16

EaterPeter | 96 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Yoda

Go in with a game plan. Have a trusty buddy with you. Make sure S/he is nit around. Or they pack your belongings. Forehand before you get there. You may not be pleased with the way they pack. Get over it.

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1 Person

EaterPeter

1 y
It's very difficult as you said. Fadter sooner you do it is better. Don't get involved with things and memories pack pack pack and get out of the heck
EaterPeter

1 y
Words flipped to rhyme
Asker

1 y
Ya I did it but I am gonna miss him so mich
Show All Show Less
Asker

1 y
Much*
EaterPeter

1 y
You are going to miss him. The relationship was emotional roller coaster ride, want it?
EaterPeter

1 y
wasn't it?
Asker

1 y
Maybe but I still loved him he was a part of me I don't know if it was right we broke up but seems like it was mutual decision
Asker

1 y
Even though I’m prolly the only one regretting this but I know I shouldn’t. If he wants to be done with me then ok
EaterPeter

1 y
Break up may not be right. If it was mutual decision that is little better. You should feel how you feel. Take time and properly process your feelings. No feelings are wrong. It should not be one way though I hope you both get closer you need.

Answer 17

EaterPeter

It's very difficult as you said. Fadter sooner you do it is better. Don't get involved with things and memories pack pack pack and get out of the heck

Answer 18

EaterPeter

Words flipped to rhyme

Answer 19

Asker

Ya I did it but I am gonna miss him so mich

Answer 20

Asker

Much*

Answer 21

EaterPeter

You are going to miss him. The relationship was emotional roller coaster ride, want it?

Answer 22

EaterPeter

wasn't it?

Answer 23

Asker

Maybe but I still loved him he was a part of me I don't know if it was right we broke up but seems like it was mutual decision

Answer 24

Asker

Even though I’m prolly the only one regretting this but I know I shouldn’t. If he wants to be done with me then ok

Answer 25

EaterPeter

Break up may not be right. If it was mutual decision that is little better. You should feel how you feel. Take time and properly process your feelings. No feelings are wrong. It should not be one way though I hope you both get closer you need.

Answer 26

Alyssa11

Yoda

Personally I’d ask him to post it to me. When I’m done I’m done. I can’t bear to face the person anymore.

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1 Person

Answer 27

electromagnetic | 119 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Guru

Oh easy. I just tell them to pack my stuff up and in box and leave it at the door 5 minutes before I arrive. Then I don’t gotta see them anymore.

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1 Person

Answer 28

princeofromance | 57 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Explorer

I just get my things and get out. If we happen to have hot breakup sex, that is just an added bonus for me.

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Answer 29

GoldenTulip

Xper 5

Go when he/she is not there. And leave before the person comes back. And bring a friend or family member to help you.

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1 Person

Answer 30

In_Trance | 1.3K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

No; do what you need to do and get on with your life. Make sure and block your ex too

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1 Person

Answer 31

Coulis

Xper 7

Boxes are generally useful.

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1 Person

Answer 32

BuckU

Xper 1

Allow access and then avoid them entirely...

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1 Person

Answer 33

jerdanro

Xper 7

Don't go alone.

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1 Person

How do you prepare yourself to collect your belongings from an ex’s place?

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