How do you prepare yourself to collect your belongings from an ex’s place. I feel like that is one of the hardest things to do, all this memories keep going on, and false hope what if what if but you need to do it cause it would of never worked out...
Can any of you give me inspiration speech to make it easier.
I know tomorrow is the day, I can’t even sleep and it’s almost 5 am already. So many worries are going through my mind. I did happen to shut my eye for 5 mins but then I woke up with a dream no don’t leave him but then I remembered it’s been 2 months since we broke up. Now it’s the time, he clearly never loved me. It will be so hard but I must do it...
Depends how it ended. If it ended in a positive way, there shouldn't be much issue apart from some slight tender feelings still between you.
If not so good, best to either ask to come when they're not there, or have a list of what is yours ready, if you trust them have them place everything in boxes outside for you to just collect if possible. If you need to interact with them and you don't know how it will go, bring a male friend/relative. I don't recommend anyone take chances if it is a possibility, but only you know your relationship.
As for the pep talk; things end. Sometimes futures made up in our heads are a wonderful thing, but doesn't always turn out so beautifully. Life is going to take you in the direction you need to go, wo don't doubt yourself; you have both been given the opportunity to find new love; better love thst you don't even know about yet. Hindsight is 20/20, you don't know what the future holds til you get there, but I guarantee the you 20 years from now, looking back would have a little chuckle that you were worried over nothing. Next of luck for the future, to both of you ❤️
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Asker
23 d
Thank you, such an amazing advice. ❤️ I really should get it done quick and stop doubting in ever finding a guy again. Maybe I’ll need to take some more time off to fully heal, it’s been few months so far... hopefully I will have more luck later on...
Self love and self healing is incredibly important. We can only accept the love that we are willing to accept; sounds strange, but it makes sense: if you love yourself only 20%, if someone comes and loves you 40%, if feels immense, so much more than you are use to... but in reality, it isn't. If you properly love and care for yourself 100%, and someone loves you 40%, you will turn them away, because you KNOW you deserve more, because you know in your heart you would give them 100%. Take care of yourself, do nice things for yourself, and above all: be kind to yourself. We are often our biggest critics, and are far kinder to others than we are ourselves. We need to share some of that love and care we have for others wuth ourselves, too :)
Most Helpful Guy
loveslongnails | 321 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru
21 d
Do it when he's not going to be there. Bring a couple of girlfriends to help, and for support. Do it quickly. The faster you get out of there, the better. Most importantly - DON'T LOOK BACK !!! He's your ex for a reason or reasons, so don't forget what they are.
Be honest with yourself. What EXACTLY do you miss? The good times? You have the memories. But you said you KNEW it wasn't going to work out. Why? How did you know? Are you sure of your answers to that question, or did someone just cut and run because they were afraid of their feelings? If so, who did - you, him or both of you? Answer those questions internally. And here's another one - did you miss HIM specifically, or do you simply miss having someone in your life?
by the way, I watched the video and it just hits me that it's two people whining about their pain, but I can't sympathize without knowing why. I realize that sometimes "things just don't work out" and there's pain in the separation, but if two people really want to MAKE it work out - they find a way to fix it.
Asker
21 d
Yeah that is true, maybe I should just believe that he didn’t want me nomore so I should move on even though the feeling still there. Well he was a bit stubborn maybe I wasn't perfect either nobody is and here we are single... I don't know what to think but I didn't see it coming
So he dumped you, completely out of the blue, and gave you no explanation, other than "it's not going to work out?" Is that what happened?
Asker
21 d
Nah it was mutual decision we both said it’s a bad idea to stay together but we never confirmed it. None of us ever reach out to each other and yeah its been now 2 months since that. I thought we will rekindle at some point as we always did but 2 months is abit long time maybe I should forget
" we both said it’s a bad idea to stay together but we never confirmed it." Huh? If you both said it, how is that NOT confirmation? You don't need to say "ok, it's OFFICIALLY a bad idea to stay together, so let's agree to break up". It's sounding more and more like neither one of you are ready to commit to one another in any real way. Ya think?
Most Helpful Girls
Anonymous
21 d
When I have broken up with someone we give the other our things. So have never collected my own stuff... Well my latest I technically did, when he wasn't home, he had put it all out on a table and I picked it up and left the key in his mailbox.
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sheikalana | 106 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru
23 d
Get one or two suitcases or a bunch of boxes and pack.
It's going to be hard. But all that is part of breaking up.
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What Girls & Guys Said
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jgokgotit | 100 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Yoda
22 d
I never take anything to a girlfriend's house that is crucial. If I take an item to her place, it is something I can replace easily. If I am going to initiate the breakup, I start clearing my stuff from her place before I drop the bomb. If she catches me off guard and drops the bomb on me, I just abandon the stuff. Going back to an ex's place is one of the worst things you can do if you truly want to move on.
Go in with a game plan. Have a trusty buddy with you. Make sure S/he is nit around. Or they pack your belongings. Forehand before you get there. You may not be pleased with the way they pack. Get over it.
Break up may not be right. If it was mutual decision that is little better. You should feel how you feel. Take time and properly process your feelings. No feelings are wrong. It should not be one way though I hope you both get closer you need.
Alyssa11 | 76 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Yoda
22 d
Personally I’d ask him to post it to me. When I’m done I’m done. I can’t bear to face the person anymore.
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electromagnetic | 103 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru
22 d
Oh easy. I just tell them to pack my stuff up and in box and leave it at the door 5 minutes before I arrive. Then I don’t gotta see them anymore.
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