He no longer wants a relationship yet doesn't want me to move on to other guys and "get hurt again"?

Question

This is a now ex. Whom seemed happy on the phone when we broke up. (It was otp because I didn't want to come over and knew what would happen).

He mentioned how I made him feel bad about himself and we argued a lot. He also said he didn't want to me just move on and start talking to other guys and possibly run into fuckboys and get hurt again. He also mentioned how he was afraid to be alone.

Maybe I sabotaged the relationship but at times he couldn't even bother to do normal boyfriend/girlfriend things because he was cheap but hed spend money on video games. He was bad for me but good at the same time. I can't tell if he was genuine or just saying that to keep me as a backup. He said he wanted to be friends, but started acting distant when I'd text after he said it was ok.

Though I tried to give him space, then messaged me on Snapchat about a photo of me that was saved. I told him it showed as deleted and that I wanted to go no contact longer. I messaged him and said bye, he didn't read it but unfriended me instead. Not to mention he was flirting with someone else a day after the breakup.

Answer 1

HollyK21 | 246 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Influencer

It goes without saying that breakups aren’t easy whatsoever, but it’s especially hard in your case, where you know breaking up is the right thing, but you don’t want to do it. I think when he said that to you, he was feeling conflicted about the breakup. If you start dating other guys, then that closes the door for good and that’s a scary thought when you still want your ex. But since he unfriended you since that statement, I’d assume he thought better of it and knew breaking up was a choice he needed to stand by. Friendship after a break very rarely ever works, there’s always complications or someone still has feelings or jealousy. It wouldn’t have been good for you guys right now.

Asker

19 d
Thank you so much. I think it is the right thing but the way things went and how I felt and how unhappy I was and he became it was for the better. I was so conflicted. I guess it's normal for someone to do when they're moving on, I just didn't know if he was being manipulative and didn't really care especially with the actions I mentioned or what.

I talked to him otp right after the break up and he seemed happy, then his voice sounded shaky when I said I'd talk to him later and he said "be safe, bye". I told him it was a good thing and he said "a good thing".
Asker

19 d
He seemed angry through text too one day. I said i didn't want to argue and told him i wanted to tell him about good things hapenning in my life. He gave the nastiest response. Tried to say I was the one starting arguments and when I mentioned telling him good things he goes " for what e*** I'm fine". He uses my name when he's angry.
Asker

19 d
* "a good thing?"
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HollyK21

19 d
I do feel like telling you you shouldn’t date because he didn’t want to see you get hurt was manipulative to an extent. A lot of it could be because he doesn’t want to see you move on while he’s still single (and he already expressed that he doesn’t like being single). There’s a lot of emotions at play, because the breakup is so new. He’s angry, upset, happy, jealous, so many feelings. The thing is, you guys didn’t give eachother space after the breakup. You tried to dive right into a friendship when you were freshly hurting, and like I said, that usually doesn’t play out well for anyone. Anyway, if unfriending you was what he felt like he needed to do to move on, then you have to respect it. One of you had to do the hard thing (cut ties). At least your hands are clean and you can walk away without guilt.

Answer 2

Asker

Thank you so much. I think it is the right thing but the way things went and how I felt and how unhappy I was and he became it was for the better. I was so conflicted. I guess it's normal for someone to do when they're moving on, I just didn't know if he was being manipulative and didn't really care especially with the actions I mentioned or what.

I talked to him otp right after the break up and he seemed happy, then his voice sounded shaky when I said I'd talk to him later and he said "be safe, bye". I told him it was a good thing and he said "a good thing".

Answer 3

Asker

He seemed angry through text too one day. I said i didn't want to argue and told him i wanted to tell him about good things hapenning in my life. He gave the nastiest response. Tried to say I was the one starting arguments and when I mentioned telling him good things he goes " for what e*** I'm fine". He uses my name when he's angry.

Answer 4

Asker

* "a good thing?"

Answer 5

HollyK21

I do feel like telling you you shouldn’t date because he didn’t want to see you get hurt was manipulative to an extent. A lot of it could be because he doesn’t want to see you move on while he’s still single (and he already expressed that he doesn’t like being single). There’s a lot of emotions at play, because the breakup is so new. He’s angry, upset, happy, jealous, so many feelings. The thing is, you guys didn’t give eachother space after the breakup. You tried to dive right into a friendship when you were freshly hurting, and like I said, that usually doesn’t play out well for anyone. Anyway, if unfriending you was what he felt like he needed to do to move on, then you have to respect it. One of you had to do the hard thing (cut ties). At least your hands are clean and you can walk away without guilt.

Answer 6

OlderAndWiser | 1.9K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Influencer

"Yeah, I'm happy for now, but knowing that you still want me would make me feel better, and. . . if you don't start hooking up with somebody else, maybe in a few weeks we could do like a booty call, and who knows what might happen, but I hate the idea of being alone, so it's okay to be mad but don't REALLY leave me!"

Answer 7

Anonymous

why are you wasting your time for?

Asker

19 d
Could you just answer the question? I don't need all the extra inquiries. I'm trying to move on but still would like an idea of what could be going through his head
Asker

19 d
that's just how I am

Answer 8

Asker

Could you just answer the question? I don't need all the extra inquiries. I'm trying to move on but still would like an idea of what could be going through his head

Answer 9

Asker

that's just how I am

He no longer wants a relationship yet doesn't want me to move on to other guys and "get hurt again"?

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