I got told I manipulated someone for over a year and while I do feel I made a mistake I'm not remorseful. Is that bad?

Anonymous
Context
I am F16 and he is M16
We were friends from 2019 September to 2021 June.
Our friendship has been very on and off and sexual I won't lie. It was more than that though we opened up to each other we seemed to trust each other. However it was so toxic we'd fight every 1-6 months. Longest we've gone without fighting was 6 months. Shortest has to be a month.
We both have our own issues. We're both mentally ill, he made me realise I was fucked up. My mum mentally and physically abused me for most of my life its only been a year to a few months since she'd treated me better. He says I'm depressed, anxious etc. He's got clinically diagnosed depression severe anxiety and insomnia I met him through a childhood friend whilst he had a girlfriend ( we were both 14) and we didn't talk too much at the start and it was very PG.
He claims that I never apologised and I flipped every argument onto him. I held stuff against him and routinely used his mistakes to hold power manipulate and make him feel like a cunt. I agree I never forgave him and I saw that during our last and final fight I wasn't taking responsibility for my actions. I didn't know I was being manipulative and that doesn't excuse me. I apologised and tried to change, he'd apologise and hurt me again.

He did things that hurt me a lot and I just buried it down or held in like he did. I found out he found me annoying at the start, he constantly told me to change who I was because I wasn't good the way I was. He would mention how immature I was and would get angry cuss me out and blame me for it. He told me he loved me and took it back after I got upset with him. I didn't deserve to be constantly left all the time. I grew up with everyone fighting and leaving me and he knew that. He constantly left me alone for weeks at a time after an argument. He never stuck around to talk it out.

He had the audacity to blame me completely for it ending when he hurt me over and over again and took his anger out on me.
I got told I manipulated someone for over a year and while I do feel I made a mistake I'm not remorseful. Is that bad?
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