I need help, dealing with this breakup from months ago is overwhelming?

nojokecarmichael
I started seeing a therapist and had an intake visit so far. The rest I'm trying to deal with, I want revenge so bad and I spent a month thinking of what I did wrong in the relationship. My ex just never admitted to his wrongdoings he kept talking about how I made him feel and the hurtful stuff I said... I was kind but skeptical in the beginning then he'd become manipulative and make comments so I did it back.

It never excuses what I did though and I hate myself for it. I hate him even more for tryinf to put all the blame on me and moving on so quickly. Then things blew up with back and forth between me and his friend. And his sister called herself threatning me because me and my ex were arguing.

I told her don't ever try to come at me about what had nothing to do with her and blocked her. I don't know if he ever really cared, sometimes he seemed so loving and other times it's like I was around because he was lonely or wanted sex. What bothers me the most is how it all made me come out of character and im being painted as the villain when it took two people to be in a relationship and it's demise.

I want to call crisis but I feel like that something I'd talk to my therapist about more than anything.
I need help, dealing with this breakup from months ago is overwhelming?
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