Should I reach out to him?

Anonymous
So... my best friend is a guy. January... some physical stuff happened between us on a drunken night. After that we became much closer, it almost felt like a relationship. My last relationship was horrible and toxic and abusive so that left me damaged and not wanting anything past friends. So one night he told me he loved me, and I loved him too. After that we were much closer. Something happened and we ended things and our friendship on good terms. He still wants me in his life and asked to keep in contact but I told him I couldn’t talk to him until I no longer loved him romantically, it would hurt too much to continue pretending I didn’t love him. The other night he drunk called me an told me he missed me and he was begging me to come over and talk to him. I declined but... I really miss him. That phone call made re realize that. I still love him, so much but I miss him as my friend. He was one of the only people to support me, he’s helped me through so much and there’s so much I want to talk to him about. I’m afraid to reach out while I’m still in love but I miss my best friend. I don’t know what to do. It’s been about a month and a half since we ended contact. I just don’t know what to do
Should I reach out to him?
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