September 2021, Broke up with her beginning of sept. 1week latergot back with her after realizing I just needed time away from our relationship and still wanted only her. She comes over I’m joyous she’s back, she tells me all these sweet things bout never leaving and how she bolted her from a meeting after seeing my message. We get intimate, like the fire never burnt out, love and passion. She ends up staying the night and I cuddle her all night and I get the best sleep I’ve got in weeks, she leaves in the mornin and says byebaby. I remember the look on her face as she left. She sent me an email about how she can’t do this anymore and how sorry she is to do this but she has to do it. I’m fucking miserable for weeks. That would be last time she came until the end of Sept I don't know that really fucked me up. I was confused why but at the end of Sept she came back, this time I wasn't joyous to see her infact I was down right furious she was there and I was ready to lash out and be as mean as possible. She doesn’t have a good answer on why, she was angry, she didn’t know what she was doing. Anyway questioning her decision and why she made her choice she kept reinsuring me it wasn’t because of someone else but I knew it was bullShit. So we do the same thing as two weeks earlier, I’m more cautious but I let my guard down and gave in sexually. No sex because I was having trouble that someone else with her. I was ecstatic she was back happy and in bliss she’s here again. Finally here! We fall asleep cuddle again, best sleep, but once again she leaves. Ghosted. Off fucking this new guy I knew she was with. she used me to feel better bout herself. Did she ever love me or was it all just words and her actions spoke for her love? She has returned 2 months later and we are talking again. Says she loves me and only me, and is here to stay. I’ve given her a chance but what do I do? I don’t believe anything, I expect her to fail me, what do you think? is it Bs?
Just need hella insight into your experience, and your opinion on the entirety of the info. I do love her a lot but lately I’ve realized I was doing okay by myself so why even get reinvested with this Titanic if it means I’m gonna freeze to death alone in the end anyways? She also still acts somewhat shady and omits details and doesn’t share the absolute truth of something, am I just a fool?