Why am I still hurt about my ex boyfriend?

Anonymous
We broke up almost 14 months ago. I wanted the relationship to work despite ending it with him and then he finally pulled the plug a few months later. I was very hurt. While I met his friends and his family knew me, he made no real effort to meet mine as he was studying. He has apologised for his wrongdoing many times. After we broke up, I asked if he was interested in anyone and he said 2 people. Then a few weeks later he claims they were just friends he wanted to get to know better. Up until this day, he often says he still likes me and misses me all the time but didn't see a solution.

He texted me in November 2021 saying he wants to learn and grow from his mistakes and evolve as a person I guess. I never responded. We've had a few hour-long conversations where one of us will tear up (mainly me). He's offered for us to catch up and clear the air but I've declined.

He often questions whether he made the right decision and that maybe he's one big idiot.

I still love him deep down very much. I have a feeling to some degree he does too but no one has done anything about it.

Advice?
Why am I still hurt about my ex boyfriend?
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