Would it be too soon to move in with my boyfriend?

[punchxcore]

So I graduate college in like 3 days, so it's definitely time for me to start looking for a job in my field (vet tech). Unfortunately the only jobs that actually have openings are around the area my boyfriend lives (and that's an hour and a half from me). Good, because there are openings and because that means there could be a potential for me to live with him. But when I start telling people that if I get one of the two jobs near him, then I would go live with him, because it seemed like a good idea to me, they ask me if I think it's too soon.

Would living with a boyfriend/girlfriend after a few months (we're talking probably 2-3) be a bad idea? I mean, I'm not even sure when exactly I'd move in with him if I were to get a job near him. One of my friends was stressing the fact that it's probably not a good idea because our relationship would be so new and it could possibly destroy our relationship. On the other hand, I am thinking of financially, and also, I do love being with him. I really desperately need a job and it's really slim to none that I will find a job where I am living now cause there will be too many graduates looking for the same kind of job and I'm not trying to compete with them. I also quit my job last week because I was only working 10 hrs a week at minimum wage, so I am in desperate need of a job and I'm willing to take the first job I can get, with how bad this economy is. And if the first place that offers me a job is near my boyfriend, I would feel like I NEED to take it.

There are positions at two different clinics close to my boyfriend. One is 15 mins from him and one is an hour from him. My friend suggested me living on my own but after adding expenses and all that, I'm not so sure I would make enough to be able to do so. If I didn't have my huge car payment, then sure. That'd free up almost $400 a month.

I really don't see how us living together would affect our relationship as it'd almost be how it is now. He travels for his job, so he's gone from Monday to Thursday or so, and we'd be able to spend weekends together still. And as of now, we see each other on weekends and are apart during the week, so I'm not quite sure how that kind of living schedule could possibly ruin our relationship.

Advice? Suggestions? Comments? I'd appreciate it.

Updates:

+1 y

We've been together for 3 months now and we decided after I posted this that it'd be better if I lived on my own first, as I never really got to experience it yet, and someday down the road we'll probably move in together. Probably a year from now.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it'd hurt your relationship as long as you didn't both start doing sexual things including having sex more than you did before. Intensifying that might cause it to get out of hand and you don't want that to happen. On the other hand, you'll have more time to cuddle and be close to each other and kiss and make out which can be even more satisfying sometimes. Also, when you do sexual things and have sex you'll never have to hurry or be aware of the time so that should be a tremendous benefit and increase both of your enjoyments. Think of how much time he'll have to go down on you and pleasure you without any time limits. But like the other guy on here already said, and how you commented back, split the bills and make like a shared apartment arrangement and keep from being available for each other all the time. It's good that he'll be gone at his own job during the week. Yes, you probably do NEED to take a job near your boyfriend if you get an offer. Also, that'll help him financially at the same time. Freeing up $400 a week is a lot of money for you to be used for other personal things and maybe you can even save some. Based on all what you said, I don't see how your relationship under the new arrangements would be much different than it is right now. If anything, it'll only be much better, easier and more affordable for you. Those things are important in today's economy. But do try to keep some things about you private and personal just like you did before. Don't let yourself all out... not yet. Keep yourself clean and the place tidy. So good luck! I think it'll work out great because I know of other couples where with similar circumstances and arrangements where the girl couldn't afford any other set up and her job and/or education was close to where her boyfriend had his own place compared to her home or her own place which was way too far and impractical to keep any longer. Hopefully, by now you've gotten that new job and have already made your decision.

[Ghostwriter]

There's no simple answer to this. But first off, I get your situation, as it's a common one. There's nothing wrong with living with him as long as you maintain your own independence. If things go bad between you to, what are you going to fall back on...I don't care how good your relationship is, it happens. Also, living with someone, you find out all the things you didn't know about them before, like maybe how much of a slob they are, or how different your habits are. So, tread carefully. Make sure you can go somewhere else if things go bad and don't stay in the relationship because of the that fact.

[Simple-Simonette]

Living with anybody has the potential to ruin your relationship. Things are different when you are at home and the masks come off. Only knowing your boyfriend for a couple of months may make things more stressful than you think. Are you prepared to see the "dirty" side of him, and for him to see the same of you? It's more than just getting along, it's having someone in your space all the time. It's sharing the responsibilities of a household, and learning how to completely be yourself around someone else. I think it is a huge decision to live with someone - be it friend, boyfriend, even family!

There's so much more to living together than just hanging out. And before you make this decision, you guys should thoroughly discuss your obligations and such. There have been many a relationship destroyed because the two were unprepared for living together. It sounds like a good idea financially but make sure it's one emotionally as well.

If you both went into this more as roommates than a couple - I think your relationship will have a better chance of surviving. Decide beforehand how the bills should be handled (split in half), who is responsible for what food and toiletries, what household chores belong to who, etc etc. The more clearer you make the responsibilities, the less stress in the long run. There would be less resentment if everyone knew what was going on from the beginning. Good luck - though I don't see it as a BAD idea to move in with him, I think you overly optimistic view of how easy it would be is a little well, overly optimistic. I think if you approached this proposal realistically, you would fare much better. Can't get your hopes dashed too hard if you don't expect too much.

[salsachik]

Don't do it. Finances should never be a reason to move in with someone. If you can't afford to live on your own get a roommate, but don't live with a boyfriend to make things easier on your pocketbook. Money is a huge reason couples fight and you don't want to add that stress after only a few months of dating.