Help! I think I'm destroying everything!

My boyfriend & I broke up about two months ago. He says he still likes me and that I'm the most gorgeous girl he's ever seen. He claims the only reason he feels he has to break up is because of distance ... we can only see each other every 3 months or so and he says that isn't a relationship and it bothers him.

He said he still wants to be friends because he likes me. The problem is that I'm very upset and I'd like to be friends but we argue a lot because I can't just pretend that I'm not upset or that I'm not hurt or that I fully understand. I can see how that's gotta be frustrating to him because I keep saying the same things over and over. As a consequence, he started to talk to me less frequently. Well I think it's because of that.

It's just I think it's so silly to end a relationship because of distance. Instead of seeing him once in a while I will see him...never. And I now gotta somehow kill these feelings I got for him :(

Do you guys think that if I start ignoring him or send a message once every week or two weeks he'll start to be fond of me again? I think at the moment I'm so extremely present because I message him every day (emails & text messages) and that's probably not good. I wonder what sort of effect it would have if I stopped most of the communication. But then I'm scared he'll forget about me, or that it's going to be easier for him to move on to another girl if I'm not constantly present. I know I'm silly.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't scare him off with the mass texts that are about nothing important ("hi, how was your weekend" and the like). You'll turn into the poster child of "crazy ex" every guy is programmed to take EXTRA precautions about.

    If you can, send him an email or text that has something relevant to HIM, like maybe you found an online coupon for a restaurant that he specifically likes.

    • Thanks for the comment! I don't really send anything of that kind ("hi, how are you"). It's more like I nag, ask the same questions, you know, the whiney thing that even annoys me. I feel quite ashamed but sometimes it overcomes me and I don't seem to have the maturity to resist. I guess I'm scared he''ll move on completely & erase me from his life. Funny thing is I know if I keep sending those annoying "why did you break up" and "you hurt me so much" messages I'm gonna drive him away.

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