How to get my ex girlfriend back?

I know why I want to be with her, I know what happened in the past with us. I evaluated the good and bad about getting back with her. I've become independent and worked on myself to become a better person.

Here was our issues: number one, our past before we dated. You see she was very fond of me and I had no intelligence of this, So I hooked up with other people, but so did she. After dating I realized some of the things I did hurt her. I apologized but they would continually come up.

Anyways fast track to us dating. Our communication could have used some work - we ALWAYS had stuff to talk about but we just never really knew how to say the right things when the right thing was needed. We've come a long way from that now.

Its been a little over 2 years since we have broken up. We still talk, we kiss, cuddle, go out together.Yet I don't believe she is convinced that I have fully changed. That she doesn't have to go through what we already did. I think she is afraid of going through our "old" relationship. Which mind you, I'd never let happen.

She is my all, my everything, she is the world to me. We both have dated and always came back to one another for support or just to rekindle our love.

She says that she loves me and never will stop. Sometimes when she is mad she tells me that she isn't in love with me, yet her actions come through and show a completely different story.She gets upset if I hang out with girls, she said she wants me happy but if I get a girl I want to marry she doesn't want to know about it because it would hurt too much. I understand all that completely and I know actions speak louder than words.

From what I told you am I correct in thinking she is scared of repeating the past, maybe why she holds herself off at times?

What can I do to ensure her that I love her endlessly without telling her, how can I secure her worry of repeating the past? Even tho at times she says she doesn't know if she could be with me, she'll later retract all that by (well in my eyes retract it) by inviting me over to cuddle, go on walks to hold my hand, invite me to do things we used to always do when dating...

I don't want to pressure her with the idea of dating, I would rather it be HER decision. So what can I do to try and convince her that things would be so much better than before. And better because of what we went thru, learning from our mistakes and being able to move forward with each other staying in one another's lives.

I don't want to always be the one to ask her to hang out and seem needy/desperate like I actually had seemed last week, I want to make it feel like its her decision, like she feels that she has the deciding factor...i just want her to fall in love with me again, is hanging out, but not being available EVERY time my only option? To show her and remind her how we used to be without being pushy...i would date her tomorrow, but I know she may need some more convincing .

Any suggestioins?

Updates:
I feel like being exclusive is the only way to gain her trust back, but I don't know if she is keeping her options open. It doesn't seem as she is, but she doesn't want to date me now, she still wants to hang out. I just am afraid if I keep my options open she'll get upset and further more not trust me...how can I gain it back..i've come a long way and she trusts me a lot more..i never cheated on her, we just had small trust issues with her being insecure...i always complimented her tho

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just tell her that you are a different man than you were before, and that you would do anything to be the man of her dreams. Tell her she means more to you than anything else. You definitely need to be exclusive... there is no other way. And you need to do special things that show her you hold her above every other woman. It sounds like she still loves you. Do something special... plan a special picnic for two in a beautiful place. Or take her on a trip to a place she has never been. One of the most romantic things a guy ever did for me was to play me a song under the moonlight by the sea side. You know your girlfriend... do anything else you can thinking of... just plan something special and completely over the top that will help her see how committed you are to her happiness. She will need to see that before she will begin to trust your intentions again and your ability to make her happy.

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    • wow. you're right. it's the simple things that matter. I need

      to remind her why she fell for me, why I make her happy. I Try to be positive and this helped me a lot. I think she is scared and I know I'm taking a huge emotional risk but I know if it doesn't work out that I did all I could to make it. Thank you

    • If she is worth being with, she is worth the emotional risk.

      You genuinely care for her, and the sincerity in your convictions will come through. She will trust you. She may try pushing you away to make sure you follow by saying something like, "when we were together, you couldn't do xyz." If she brings up the past, see it for what it is: she is scared and needs to hear from you that things will be different this time. She needs to hear that you are completely committed to her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Sometimes it's just too late. Sometimes, you can fix everything that you thought went wrong, but in the end, you don't know what really happened, and what really went wrong in her mind, so after you have done everything you could think of, she still won't be interested. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you feel about her, it's how she feels about you.

    If you ask me, if she really wanted you, should would not let you go. If she really cares she would tell you and be with you, and that is the end of that. Even if she knows it will hurt her, if she loved you she would still be with you. But deep down, she doesn't love you, and wants to find someone else, but is willing to keep you around if she doesn't find the person she is really looking for. DO you really want to be that person?

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    • would you work two jobs, going to school AND trying to work at us be too much tho. It's not that she's dating other people but doesn't have time to risk additional stress...I mean when she isn't working her 2 jobs or doing hw she is with me or her family. Does that still mean I'm a second option if nothin else comes along?

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    • If things are like then maybe you should leave them how they are, what do you want from her, if its al she can give what are you expecting?

    • i guess I'm just scared for myself :/

      like I said sometimes she'll say one thing and do the other...every mean thing she say doesn't make sense by her actions...not that she's always saying mean things...i guess I'm just selfish and want all of her time lol...i think its more so I want to know that we are excluse...she is so beautiful, she can get a lot of guys and her past 2 tried have been flops and the guys were a**holes. Same with me and the girls I tried with...it just wasn't the same :/

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