Friendship after a breakup!?!?! Men over 30 please explain!!

If you dated someone for a VERY long time...over 5 years...and broke up and began dating a new chick VERY quickly. Why would you tell your ex that you want to be her FRIEND? Please explain the definition of friend. If you are in a NEW relationship, how can you maintain a FRIENDSHIP with your recent ex? I JUST DON'T GET IT! So, what, I should call him up tomorrow and ask him to go for a drink? He can't go, since he's got a new chick. Please help me understand the point behind a friendship when he's got a new chick...can't be FWB! He's already got that covered...So over it!


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What Guys Said 1

  • ex's cannot be friends... I don't care what anybody else thinks or says... That question of a quick rebound will always be a possiabity in the back of the mind... Sounds to me he is wanting a backup plan if and when his new girl and he argue or space away... Let him go on without you as his backup ... I know 5 years of memories and time shared will seem cruel to do so but it's over for a reason , Once you've gone that far it cannot resume as just friends without those ideas floating in the back of his mind or I guess in the front...

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What Girls Said 1

  • My ex and I dated for 9 years and he is my best friend. It took us along time to get to this point but we have an amazing friendship. He's not my back-up plan and I'm not his. We've just got a great connection.

    I'm kind in a situation the same situation with my most recent ex. We break up after dating a few years and in a few weeks he's already dating another girl. I know it won't last and that its just a rebound but that doesn't make it any easier. He wants to be friends with me and can't imagine his life without me. I call BS on that. As I see it he's lucky that I gave him the years that I did and I'm not going to give him anymore right now.

    All I can say to you is that you need to recognize what you can and can't control. we can't conrtol what our exs did to us but we can control how its going to affect our future without them.

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    • Well said! It hurts so much to not talk to him everyday...he was my best friend. He even put that in the email to me. You chose this buddy. You can't have everything! :( I hope everything works out for you too. Heartache sucks!

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