My boyfriend's ex and custody of their child?

My current boyfriend has a child with his ex. I knew the situation I was getting into when we first started getting together, and I know his child will come first, but it's become more complicated as time goes on. He hasn't seen his child for over 6 months, as the mother refuses him access and then goes around telling everyone how bad a father he is. She uses Facebook to continuously post degrading comments about him and basically makes him out to be the "get her pregnant then run" type. This is affecting him in many ways, which in turn is affecting our relationship. I'm successfully being sensitive about the situation, and trying to help him stay as positive as I can by setting up the nursery for the baby, making boards with photos and putting photo frames up. However, I'm afraid my efforts are making things worse. He has successfully made a start with mediation, but she is doing as much as she can to make things as difficult as possible. She has now proceeded to using me against him. For example; she has tried putting an order against me (which was pretty much thrown out of court), as an advantage in the custody side of things. He has also confessed, he's not happy, at all. I don't know whether to take this as a) not happy because of the situation he's currently dealing with and/or b) he's not happy with me and our relationship. Aside from the ex trouble, I thought things between us was ok? He has currently taken to being extremely quiet and drinking excessively. :(

My question is, based on the information;

Can anyone who has been through or is going through this sort of situation give me any advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • well I don't have the exact same issue but its quite similar

    some men love kids way beyond the limits of extraordinary so maybe he's one of them if that's so then his behavior can be explained, so I would suggest you to get rid of the nursery and other things that would remind him of the baby till he actually wins the case and gets the custody, 2ndly the mother would use every mean possible to keep the kid with her so be prepared for anything she might even play the dirty cards like you not some1 responcible and stuff

    the guy needs you like hell right now stay with him be as positive as you can be and if its not doing the job then use some outside help from year frnds or his but don't let go of him he is totally lost and confused and you are the only one he would listen too

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    • Thanks :)

      I can't get rid of the nursery, it's like a temple or something to him. I guess it's something he holds on to in hope that one day his child will use it.

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    • another baby would help him cope up with life

    • He doesn't want A baby any time soon. And I'm not gonna do it on the sly.

  • It seems pretty clear to me he's unhappy about not seeing his child for half a year, and not about something you did.

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    • I guess I'm just paranoid. Things are so tense here that I've jumped to the worst case scenario option.

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