Is it selfish to contact someone to pacify your own guilt?

So I'm engaged, but have recently discovered an ex on Facebook that things ended badly with. Is it so wrong to want to contact them in the hopes that seeing that they are doing well or whatever will make my guilt at how things ended up go away?

BTW, my fiancee would be fine with this. He's contacted several exes before and nothing untoward ever comes of it. We both are very loving people and still care about those with whom we aren't in relationships, but care about each other still more, if that makes sense.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Leave him ALONE!

    For the love of god!

    Block him on Facebook and don't even speak about or to him again.

    My Ex fiancee ditched me and took everything from me. She ruined my life. I gave up school for her and everything. So I had to start my life all over. While she being a woman magically finds someone else and everything ended great for her. I wanted to f***ing kill myself when she decided to try to "be there" for me after she ditched me.

    All It did was remind me of what I lost and where I was. I don't even know why I wake up in the morning anymore.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would be absolutely devastated if my ex contacted me at this point. She hurt me so bad and broke me into tiny little pieces and had me put myself back together with no closure. I would say only contact him if you don't feel you both had closure, but if you have- don't make it any worse for him especially being that you're getting married.


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think its wrong if you genuinely care about how they're doing, also if things ended badly on your part then apologizing wouldn't be a bad idea either to help you feel better about the past situations. There's nothing wrong with making yourself feel better if you also try to make the other person feel better as well.


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