DO you think women push their guys towards infidelity sometimes?

DO you think women push their guys towards infidelity sometimes? I've heard tonnes of men in long-time relationships complain that they get a woefully inadequate of sex. (Of course, this doesn't apply to those who have a "new" relationship on hand. They probably get more sex than they want!)


Most Helpful Girl

  • A man might develop the desire to cheat if he isn't getting enough sex, but that doesn't mean he can place the blame on the woman if he chooses to cheat.

    If a guy is in this type of situation, he should:

    1. Talk to his partner about the problem and try to find a solution.

    2. If the women is unwilling to work on the problem, or a solution cannot be found, end the relationship.

    Cheating is not a solution.

    • Talking will not work when hormones are low. And, new relationships isn't a solution either. The figures (if I recall right) said 50% of US second marriages end up in divorce too.

      Short term relationships without kids is unsustainable for society if everyone neglects child-rearing as a task. And imagine the kind of hurt and heartburn all those incomplete families and fatherless homes could actually lead to.

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    • Not suggesting that "cheating" is the "solution". Just that the deprival of sex can lead to it, and sometimes partners (mainly women, but not always) push others into this.

    • Well, as I tried to get across in my original answer---lack of sex in a relationship can drive someone to having the urge to cheat.

      But the decision to act on that urge lies with the individual alone and they do not have the right to blame their partner for the decision that they made.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I hear this discussion more and more as I get older. Do guys actually expect sex every day for the rest of their lives and if they do not get it or it isn't perfect, that is "pushing" them toward other women. Not very realistic, I don't think. It sounds like the men who think this need to rethink what a real relationship is. Sex is good, but not the primary basis if you want a "til death do you part" type of partnership.

    • yes, its part of the deal if your not putting out what's the point of being married

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    • Why are all the women being so defensive in discussing this? When you say "do guys actually expect sex every day for the rest of their lives"... you are making a very loaded statement, to push the argument towards the side you prefer. It's not about "sex every day". It's about not being rejected (almost) every time, about not being treated as a sexual beggar... as women tend to do in long term relationships. Ask the guys and you'll get an idea...

    • ok. now you are starting to make more sense.. I understand where you are going. and I am not defensive by any means, really, just inquisitive for a more knowledgable answer. Personally, I do not turn my partner down all of the time and I would feel horrible if he had to beg. One thing you should be clear about early on in a relationship is your sexual drive. it is sad when two people love each other and it goes bad just because one does not have the same sexual needs.

  • I think that women can contribute, but a real man would address the issues and if they didn't get better - he'd leave her. Not cheat.

    • This is a very woman commant. I read it as saying, "A real man would do something a real woman wants him to." It's more complex than that. Talk to anyone who's been in a long term relationship. Mostly the guys, but sometimes the women too.

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    • kid yourself, they don't stay young & naive for long. How will you feel when they find out & ask you about it? And they will. If you are not satisfied in your marriage, work it out or end it. Then, move on.

    • Frankly, my goal isn't to work out solutions... simply to understand the varied reasons why men might want to "cheat". I've been a pretty committed guy in relationships, but have come close to such a position over time.

      If you're talking about "addressing issues", wouldn't it be easier to start by changing the women-is-victim-in-all-cases discourse, at least now in the 21st century. This might have been the case 2-3 generations ago...

  • Yea I do think that women can do that sometimes but the motives don't justify the means. So just because your relationship isn't going how you want it to that doesn't give men the rite away to cheat.

    • You're presuming that "cheating" is a very rational, calculated decision.

    • No, not the right to cheat. Maybe just a nudge to do so... however reluctantly.

    • yea something like that

  • well my boyfriend don't want sex with me . He never has sex with me does that give me a reason to cheat

    • Has this always been the case, or did it develop over time, as often happens in relationships of long standing?

    • If it's only a boyfriend, then there's a chance of moving on. Sometimes it's a marriage, or there are kids and it becomes much, much tougher... I know sex isn't all in a relationship; but I know of very few relationships that survive when one partner feels sexually deprived, neglected, or just shunned. It's a terrible feeling...

What Guys Said 1

  • If a guy isn't getting enough sex from his SO, maybe he should look in the mirror. I've never had a girlfriend or wife turn me down.

    • Well said.

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    • It's easy to this when you change your gfs so quickly. Some of us don't believe that people are consumables... I do agree: "I do agree that women who are satisfied are less of a pain in the butt."

    • I don't think I've been changing gfs 'frequently' at all. I entered each relationship with the best of intentions, what can I say, I'm a handful as well.

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