Not giving the other person closure at breakup?

Is not giving the other person closure at breakup and just disappearing a way of keeping a crack open in the doorway to come back, or is it saying you don't care? We got along great, but he decided to move on. I am STILL standing here with a look like a deer in the headlights. HUH? So many questions, no answers, can't ask him because it would only stroke his ego some more. It's MY turn to get stroked. This has been very hard.


Most Helpful Guy

  • In his case, it's probably because he's trying to move on and having you around doesn't help much with that.

    • But really? Just dissapearing? No word of goodbye, good luck, anything? 16 months of a friendship and nothing?

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    • Actually, no. He unfriended me on Facebook. Ten days later I text his cell asking if 'I' had accidentally unfriended him (trying not to sound confrontational or blaming) and he blocked me. I haven't made any attempts since. It's been almost 4 mos. I've heard & read that it's best to let him have time to figure it out on his own, that hearing from me would sound like begging (unattractive) and desparate. I want him to want me of his own free will. Not feel sorry for me. Am I right in my thinking?

    • I think so. I can't think of many things worse than being loved only out of pity.

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What Guys Said 1

  • i guess its just a way to leave the situation without a mess and a blunt way to hurt the person. not getting closure is always a b*tch.

    • Yeah, without a mess on his selfish end. I have been sitiing in a mess (so to speak) since he disappeared. He just hasn't seen any of it, and he won't. He can sit and wonder if he made the right negative act on my part is going to convince him he did the 'right' thing by leaving. I guess his lack of closure can leave him to wonder about me too on those cold evenings that he might be thinking of me. Why would he want to hurt me? I hadn't done anything to deserve it?

    • some people are just lost souls and make mistakes like this which they will later regret. let him deal with it the hard way since he's not man enough to face up to it right now.

    • THANK YOU. That is EXACTLY what I needed to hear from a guy's perspective. Thank you.

What Girls Said 1

  • Am in the same situation except it is two months later and I have demanded answers because it is more important to me to love myself and do what I need, than to care about stroking his ego. He has not given me the answers yet but has come up with lame excuses for postponing the conversation. The longer this game continues that harder it gets for me and the more I think I don't even like who is...

    • Yes, that is the trouble with asking. I feel it would be just anoither chance for him to possibly reject me again, and my heart couldn't take that. I DO want answers, yes I do. But not at the cost of a possible different kind of that now he may be trying to avoid me and forget me too. Even though we shared something special and unique. Time does show us the true man. Either way that it goes.

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