Does my ex boyfriend still have feelings for me?

My ex and I were together, off and on, for almost 10 years. Things fell apart two years ago. Initially, I thought it was the long distance. I moved away for work, and I haven't been able to find a job in my home state since then. For a year, I tried to work with him and make things better, but that failed. Last year he told me that no matter where I was, it wouldn't work. Ouch! With that, I left him alone completely.

Since then, he has texted me to say happy birthday, Valentine's Day, etc. Whenever he knew I was back home, he'd either text or offer to pick me up and take me somewhere. I declined. I simply remained cordial and kept my distance.

For the past year or so (a guess), he has been with someone. He has never acknowledge the fact that he has a girlfriend to me. This summer, his mother died unexpectedly, and I contacted him. My best friend spoke with him too, and he told her that he had a girlfriend who would be around the weekend of the funeral. Fine. When I spoke to him, I offered to only attend the funeral and not stop by and speak to him and his father because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with his girlfriend around. He basically said stop by, we'd like to see you, etc. After the funeral, he wanted to see me at my parents' house but I left. He was disappointed and wanted to talk to me about the past, but I didn't want to discuss it. I even said we shouldn't talk at all anymore, but he contacted me via text about a month later. Me, being foolish, responded, and he asked if he could contact me periodically, and I said OK.

He knows that I have dated someone else, but never asks about that relationship. In the past 2 months, we have spoken once about his father, my ex's promotion, and my job prospects. I am OK with being cordial, especially given the distance, but I am unsure if he still has feelings for me. If he does, that makes me uncomfortable. Also, I am no longer with my most recent boyfriend--the ex doesn't know that. Thoughts?

As for how I feel, I honestly don't know. A part of me misses what we had years ago. I did feel like we were close and best friends at one point. The other part of me knows that things have changed drastically. I was very heart broken by the entire situation. I am uncomfortable with the idea of him still having feelings for me and continuing to be cordial with him because I don't want to feel like his "emotional" mistress. I just don't want overreact if he just wants to be cordial.
Well, my ex boyfriend has a girlfriend. I was recently back home, and he didn't contact me or go to the class reunion, even though he knew I was going to be there.
Well, I just found out that they are engaged. Lovely. So, I guess that answers my question--he doesn't really have feelings for me and just wants to be cordial. I honestly think I am upset because I haven't moved on (seriously) with someone new yet and he clearly has.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl, get it together! You are playing with this man. You know you wanna be with him. I wish I had what you had. You both care about each other, so much. Either you both need to move on or get back together. You both are in a limbo. Get it together! please!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 2

  • Seems to me like he does, but what does it matter if you won't really give him the time of day? What are your intentions?

  • Probably for the better! Better days to come girl, now you can fully move on...