Is there a way to get ex back?

So last night my girlfriend broke up with me over FB (and then unfriended me). She refused to do it on the phone or in person because it would be too hard. She broke up with me because she's a 10-year difference between us (she's 21; I'm 32), and her mom, who she lives with, hasn't ever approved of me because of that age difference. She said that it's not fair to me, that I should have someone I can settle down with, and her mom has made it very clear to her that she won't approve of us (I've only met her mom once, just last week). She says that they've been getting in constant fights and arguments about me, that she's stressed from it. She kept apologizing, that I deserve better, and that I should just "let her go," that she has to do this.

Honestly, I took it pretty hard. I love her, and I know she loves me. I just keep thinking that she's so overwhelmed with this and other stuff and that she just made some snap decision, and that if we had worked more on her mom that things would have eventually been all right.

This is really just the summarized version of events, but is there anything I could do or say to her that might make a difference? I want to see her, but she doesn't think she could be face-to-face...

More background: For those of you saying lack of interest or someone else, this started because her mother canceled our date on Saturday, and she's been yelling back and forth with her mother about it. It's stressed her out. Her mother has told her and me that she only wanted us to be friends because of my age, that she does not want her dating me. I've heard it from the mother's mouth. My girlfriend was excited about Saturday and cried a lot when it was canceled.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You are going to have to move on and never talk to this girl again. She moved on before she left you, plain and simple. This isn't just out of the blue and it's more than just her mom's disapproval, there is something/someone else. She doesn't want to "settle down". When a girl says "you deserve better" they really are talking about themselves not you, and it's meant to "let you down easy" but it always backfires when you see them with someone else (this will happen sooner than you think).

    Maturity doesn't really have to do with how old you are when we get to a certain age, it has to do with the person. She dumped you on Facebook, that tells you a lot of things. Either she has already moved on to someone else or she just decided that she doesn't want to see you for any reason. If parents are meant to pick who we are with than many of us would be with the wrong people for the wrong reasons or no one at all.

    If everything was good, then she couldn't handle a good relationship, she wants to play and feels she was missing out. Many girls will use some sort of excuse to blame other things when they break up with you so it doesn't seem like they are doing anything wrong. Move on and date other girls. Don't stay in "touch" and don't try to be "friends". You were in love and she wasn't and much as you thought. Get it out of your head thinking that she is innocent in all this. Move on.

    • I know for sure it's not someone else or an interest level because it was her mom canceling our date on Saturday that set this off. I know she wanted this because she fought tooth and nail with her mom about it. I was there, and her mom pretty much told me that she only wanted us to be friends because of my age.

    • Ok, then you're done here. If a girl is going to tell her mom everything that is going on between you two knowing she doesn't approve, then she is partly to blame. If she hasn't tried to be with you without her mom knowing, then this was set to fail before everything was tried out. What kind of "love" is that? If she can be controlled that way about who she can or can't be with then you never had her in the first place. She could have just been with you without her mom knowing. Time to move on.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Sometimes we females aren't able to stand up to parents when it comes to boyfriends, I did, then he broke my heart. but in your case, I think she needs some time to grow up a little and learn to appreciate what you had. only time will tell for you

  • The "you deserve better" line is a cop out. I've heard that from a man recently and it's more or less a way of letting you down easily.

    I believe in fighting for what you want in love. Have you thought of contacting her mom directly to let her know you love her daughter? That may help...

    • More info above about her mother and me. Her mother doesn't want us to date. I'm too old for her daughter. I've met the mother once, and she pretty much told me this, without really taking the time to know me, despite the fact I had gone to the police department with my girlfriend who was being harassed as support. The mother was there, too, and saw that. Still didn't care. "You can only be friends" is what she said.

  • She's 10 years younger than you. You can't snap your fingers and make her an adult.

    • Are you talking about maturity or physically? Within the relationship, there were no problems. Her mom just thinks that an older guy "is only after one thing." She didn't take the time to get to know me.

    • Show All
    • More info about her mother, her, and me above. She said she was ready for settling down without me ever saying anything, but because her mother says that her and me can't ever be more than friends, she doesn't think it's fair for me when her mother would never allow us to be together.

    • She's 21 years old and her mother controls her life. Which means she's about 18 years old, maturity wise.

What Guys Said 2

  • YOu can always get her back, but don't forget that there was a reason you guys broke up? So, think it over and you will find your answer... a solution to solve the reason why you broke up... breathing space is a starter, communicating on a friend-basis, ...

    "time heals all wounds, never enter an old relationship to soon"

    • But what happens when the relationship itself was going well? Like I said, I think she just stressed about everything in her life and thought it was the best decision at the moment.

  • She doesn't want you bro. The fact she said "you should let me go" is plain as day she her interest level isn't there.

    I've dated younger girls myself. I learn to not get my feelings wrapped up in them.

    • See above and what actually set off the breakup. We've been fighting with her mother about this for months. Her mother refuses to let her see me because I'm "too old for her." My girlfriend fought with her daily about this. She said it's just stressed her out too much, and it's not fair to me.

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