So, this time he says it's a break...

You can get more details in some of my others posts to what led up to this. It just happened this afternoon so it's still fresh in my mind. Here's how things went down.

He TEXTED me: "I need a real break. I am sorry again." We've had a few moments where he was confused or just wasn't sure, but he always came back within a day or two. I have always been understanding. "Take all the space you need," and I truly meant it... I used those days as time for myself... time to reconnect with friends I had lost touch with, time to hit the gym and time to spend with my kids. I looked it as though we both needed some time apart... after all, we rushed quickly into things and skipped a lot of steps. I just thought it was totally natural to take a step back every so often. I glad welcomed those moments.

But, when the text flashed across my screen this afternoon, my heart sank. I asked very level-headedly if we could come get our things. We had inadvertently switched our garage door openers, so I needed that at least. He wasn't at home when I went to get my things but still had the opener... so I went to where he was at his okay. He said he wasn't there with someone else (a girl), which I didn't even think of... he said he was there with a buddy and his son.

I tried to walk away but the burning question was WHY. So, I said it... just blurted it out. And, he looked at me and said, "I don't know - it's crazy - I have everything I could want right here, but I just don't feel the spark anymore." He said he was sorry. He texted sorry again on the way driving home. I said, "Don't be. We obviously had a spark." He replied, "Stop it." But, before that text could come through, I retorted with, "I am willing to bet it's still there we just have to work to get it back." He responded, "Give me time." I said, "I can do that."

Is he just giving me false hope here, or do you think he's being genuine... it's the most he's EVER shared with me about his feelings...I know I come with a lot of baggage... a divorce, 2 young children, financial woes (which are actively being remedied). I guess I am no prize, but is anyone "perfect?" We work so well as a team, and I think he sees that too... we have so much in common... even the way we discipline the kids (we stay a lot at his house, so he's got his rules) is VERY much on the save wavelength. My gut says he should be staying and working on this together... but the other part of my gut says he's going to come back. Hope springs eternal right?

I feel really optimistic... but maybe that's just because it's still so fresh. But, does it sound like we stand a fighting chance?

Updates:
Yesterday, after 4+ days of no contact (on my part), he texts me about the dog we went to see last week... "No Oakley." I took the bait and responded as a friend would respond. It didn't get deeper than that... but why do I feel now like he's trying to keep his hook in? I am so confused... and that just really set me back a few days of healing.

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  • If he told you that he does not have that 'spark' anymore, then I think it's time for you to move on. However, I don't know how long was your relationship with this guy...If you have been over a year together, then I would say give him some space and see how things go...Give him another chance, if he decides to continue with this relationship...

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    • Thanks for this response. He's done this before though (never called it a real break as he did this time). I am just not sure I can trust him... I think this time, if he decides to come back, we may have to start at square one. You'd think at 41, he'd realize what he wants... and why on earth would he say that I am "everything he wants?" I'm having an emotional setback today due to yesterdays text exchange. If it's over, I just want it to be over. So confused. *sigh*

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