I may be the other woman, so how do I approach this?

I went out the other night and met a guy and his friend. The guy was really cute, he was flirty and I could tell he was into me. I asked his friend if he had a girlfriend, and he didn't give me a straight answer, so I kept pursuing him anyways. We ended up making out and exchanging numbers.

I texted him the next day and we texted for hours about nothing too sexual, but we were texting for about 5 hours. At no point did he mention whether or not he had a gf.

So now, I don't know how to approach this. Do I text him next> Do I keep pursuing him a bit or do I lay back and see what he does?I feel like this situation isn't quite the normal "does he like me?" situation, as there could very well be another person involved.

Ive decided that if there is in fact a girlfriend involved, that I will still go forward with what I am doing. I do not want a lecture about this, and you cannot change my mind. I did nothing to seduce him, and I cannot make someone cheat who doesn't already want to cheat and if It were not with me, it would be with someone else.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with you. If a person wants to cheat they will cheat whether they are being "seduced" or not. It is up to him to keep that commitment to his girlfriend, not you.

    Since he did not give you a straight answer, yes he does have a girlfriend or perhaps his situation is a bit more complex-ed than he wanted to tell you. Do you want to pursue things relationship wise? or as a friends with benefits? If you want to purse him has a boyfriend then I suggest you do not, because within a few months or so, he will allow "another woman" to come into his life and you will be the person looking foolish (because you already knew the type of man he was.) If you wan to pursue him as a friends with benefits, then why not? Just make sure you know his situation before jumping into things (ask him directly and say, so you never made things clear to me do you have a girlfriend or not?) and ask him what is he looking for in you?

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    • Deff not looking for him to be a bf! I'm also wondering how often/when I should contact him. We texted for 5 hours yesterday and we didn't talk today.

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    • Yeah because normally if I were looking for a relationship, I would follow the whole "if he's truly into me, texting him every day a little bit won't scare him" but that's not the case so I didn't know haha.

    • Haha yeah. It'd be totally different if you two were trying to pursue each other in that way. And not just that you guys just met you don't want to give him the wrong impression.

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  • " I did nothing to seduce him, and I cannot make someone cheat who doesn't already want to cheat and if It were not with me, it would be with someone else."

    There are very few sentences more EFFED up than this, so yeah, you're getting a lecture.

    Actually, no, I'll just leave it at this: whatever you do to this girl, may God and whatever deity you may or may not believe in send it back to you.. ten times as badly. If you go through with trying to make this guy cheat on his girlfriend - IF HE HAS ONE AND YOU KNOW IT - then you're just a bad person. There's no way around it. You're just a bad person.

    I would keep talking to him, until I find out whether or not he has a girlfriend. And then if he has a girlfriend, I'd LAY OFF becasue I have some sense of DIGNITY. Honestly, you don't think you deserve a man who only wants you? How low IS your self-esteem, that you have to steal this guy from another girl instead of get your own?

    If he has a girlfriend, really think it through. Can you honestly live with being the other woman?

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    • Im not MAKING him do anything. I'm not going to convince the guy to cheat if he doesn't want to. All he has to say is "no" and that will be it.

      I know I could get someone who wants only me, but that's not an option right now. Being that I move next summer to a whole new area, investing in a whole new relationship isn't a wise thing.

      Just because a guy doesn't say he has a girlfriend, doesn't mean he doesn't have one. A man can easily lie about it. I've had a man lie about having a child our whole relationship.

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    • My willingness to go along with it, has nothing to do with my self esteem. We are attracted to each other, HE'S the one being unfaithful and HE is the one screwing up the relationship, not me.

    • It must be nice not to have morals or even on iota of respect or empathy for other human beings. It means you can do whatever you want; you are Superwoman.

      Just really consider it. IF he has a girlfriend (you don't even know for sure whether he has one, and you're already doing this to yourself), really really think about it. It takes two to tango, darling. He may be messing up the relationship, but you are helping him. He may be pulling the trigger., but you're holding his victim in place.

  • If you think you might be, chances are that your right. Go with your gut and don't be stupid.

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