Should I stop worrying about his ex?

Hi everyone. I've dating this guy for 5 months. When we started dating he was very honest about his ex and said he still had unresolved feelings for her.

Has the time went by he started forgetting her and about a month ago he told me he didn't feel anything for her anymore (he is usually brutally honest)

In the begging he would curse at her and call her names.

They work together and now they exchange email which he shows me from time to time and in the email he is always very playful ( but he is like that with all of his co-workers male or female). He hasn't told her he has a new girlfriend (but once again he hasn't told anyone at his work, except his best friend because he is very private). I ask him what he wants his relationship with her to be and he says he will never be friends with her but he has to treat her like he would treat any other co-worker.

My question is, should I worry that he is talking and being playful with her? Or since he was so honest always should I trust him. Do you think it's a good thing he can talk to her and not curse anymore when he talks about her?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This guy needs some serious brownie points for showing you the emails and being honest and upfront. So many asses will never do that and that shows how much respect he has for you. I do not think you have anything to worry about it because he seems very honest. You can always ask him in the future how things are with his ex if you want a update on the matter. I'm sure he'll appreciate you trusting him. The only concern here though is that he hasn't told her that he's with you romantically. I would just suggest that you tell him to clear this up with her so she knows where they stand.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well I wouldn't worry too much yet since you said he is starting to forget her. He needs time to heal from her and to build a better relationship with you. Give him benefits of the doubt.

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  • The honesty in this situation is clutch, however I must say that it takes some guts to actually pursue a relationship with this guy when he told you he has unresolved feelings for his ex. If it were me, I would say, thanks for letting me know and come back when you're ready for someone new. I've had some nightmare-ish experiences with guys and their ex's, so maybe I'm super sensitive.

    Either way, I'd say you should at least have your guard up a bit. He's in a great position here, because he doesn't have to reveal your relationship to anyone and for a legitimate reason...don't let that also allow him to be irresponsible with his ex. You're the new focus of his life, so playful emails (especially if he says they're not even friends) should really come to an end in my opinion.

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  • There is definitely nothing to worry about since he's showing you the emails. He's pretty amazing to be so open and trustworthy. In that sense it seems pretty harmless but hopefully the ex doesn't get the wrong idea. Maybe he should casually drop to his ex that he's seeing someone else. It must be tough having him see her nearly every day but in the end he's definitely more into you.

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