How do I win my ex back?

I and my ex were going out for about three years in half…at the beginning when we first started going out, I wasn’t giving our relationship my all because of what happened with my prior relationship. My ex put it all in the line for me. She would literally do anything for me; it was like love at first sight. But we would still have fights, like over stupid little things….but my only bad habit was every time we would get into fights I would go out and talk to other girls (but never the intention of doing anything with them.) the reason I do that is because I know she was a VERY jealous person and I did it just to mess with her on some ways. (Immature I know) I mean no relationship is perfect. But anyways this girl would go out of her ways for me. Like paying my car when I didn’t have a job, paying for food, buying me shoes and clothes, do nice things for my birthday and stuff…I would do the same for her like paying for her books every semester, letting her borrow money and stuff but at less of an effort from me I guess. We moved in together and everything was going great the first couple months until she started hanging out with her new friends and everything just changes. She would rather hangout with them now instead of me and she said it was because I never wanted to go out with her. Which I thought was BS because we were on a tight budget and we couldn’t afford to go on all the vacation we used too but we would still do movies and nice dine out sometimes. But our relationship was never dull. She would go out and not come home till 2, 3 in the morning and I used to get mad cause she would never call. I really didn’t have a problem with her going out but I had a problem with the people she was hanging out with and I also thought it was kina disrespectful for her to show up home at 2, 3 am when she had a man at home. So I got all lonely on the weekends, I was always home alone. One day I made this nice dinner for her, clean up the house and had the wine ready and was ready to make love to her that night but she never showed up till 2: AM that day. So since I was always lonely at home, I got mad one day and wanted to get back at her so I started talking to this other girl in the process of making my ex mad. Well she found out about it and kicked me out the house. We didn’t talk for like 3months but she would call me block (unrestricted) so we started talking again and was taking things slow until we got into another fight and didn’t talk for a week. After that EVERYTHNG changed. I started thinking about all the stuff that she used to do for me and realized that this girl is the one for me and I should try talking to her again. I came clean and confessed to her and told why I did what I did and I’m sorry for doing that. I mean I pour my heart out to this girl. I was literally like a wild dog chasing a dead meat. I told her just give it one more chances and I can work things out. found out that there is another guy in the mix. how I win her back?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey I saw your post and had to read it and I'm really glad I did. I don't think there's any set way to win back a girl..but I will say this. It wasn't just one of you in the wrong it was both of you. She would stay out late to party and such with her friends, but when that finally pushed you over you childlishly went out and made her jealous. All of this probably could of simply been null if you guys had simply communicated. I know it's not as simple as it sounds but if both of you had put in the time and effort..there's a possibility it would of actually worked. Now I see that you've expressed to her that you know you did something wrong, you've apologized..and you want another chance with her, has she done the same though? There needs to be a point where the two of you meet up and talk that can't have one side open and the other closed..almost as if what she did is less then what you did..because if I'm correct both of you were hurt. The best thing to do now is just be there for her though. Show her that you still care and that you are making an honest effort to turn everything around. Only she can decide that she wants to come back..there is no making her, or simply have to be the one that she remind her why she chose you in the first place man!

    I hope everything works out for you


    • Well thank you very very much for answering...well no she hasn't done anything to apologized because I'm showing her that I was the one that messed up and now all she's doing is making me feel like crap and just talk about this other guy she's been going on dates night when I was talking to her she agreed that she would give me another chance and she invited me to dinner the next day which I pay for and that night she told me that she don't know if she has anymore to give to me.

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    • yeah I guess you right...thank you for all the help

    • Anytime man..anytime

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What Girls Said 3

  • You don't. You've already confessed your feelings to her so she knows them. Now is her turn to reach for you. You have to be patient and give her some time to decide if she still wants to be with you. If she still cares for you she'll be back.

    • from knowing this girl I know SHE LOVES ME but its probably the people that's giving her advice or idk. but I feel like the more time I give her the more time she probably going to spend with this new guy and that leaves me with a less chance of getting back with her

  • well...i think to win her back you should start talking to her. and slowly help remind her of everything you and her had before you moved into together. and everything that you had before things started changing. tell her how you feel and what you think about her. be completly honest and open with her. but you also have to give her time to think it over and move slowly. you don't want to pressure her. you should ask her to hang out with friends for awhile and see how it goes. and after a couple months or so start doing things for her to show you that you care about her. always be there for her when she needs someone like if she needs a ride offer to give her one without asking for anything in return. I hope this helps. I will comment if I think of anymore.

    • I swear to God I have been doing all of the above...every time I reminded of what we had before..she gt mad at me because she said it reminded her of all the things she did for me and I never appreciate any of it. its been two months now and I feel like l gave her plenty of times. I think what's going on right now is that...I open and showed her too much and now she thinks I can't leave without her and making me pay for all the the wrong I did.

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    • Ok but I think it will be kina hard since we both already agree to move on. She said she still want to leave a window open for me and her becaue she don't know what the future hold for us but I told her I don't know if I can stay friend but later change my mind and say I will leave my phone open to her so she welcome to call anytime

    • oh OK well you seem really sweet so if you were trying to have me take you back I would I'm glad you and her are at least talking right now that's better than nothing at all GOOD LUCK!

  • The way she is acting now is how you acted in the beginning of the relationship. The roles have simply switched. Let her do her thing. She was tired of being taken for granted. Its good though you realize where you and her went wrong and tried to fix it.

    If you want a chance than let her do her own thing and you do your own thing. If she talks to you be nice and don't try to get back at her. If you really want to talk to her wait a few weeks and keep it very casual and pleasant.

    • Ok but it's been two months now and I don't know if that's enough time to give her but also what I'm worrying about is..let's say I give some more time I don't want her to start hanging out with the new guy more and catch more feeling for him because she's already talking how great he is and afghani compare me and him and said that he as some qualities that she never saw in me. That hurt me so much when she said that, felt like I got stab or something. But I don't know if she just doing that though

    • She sounds kinda hurt, why else would she do this. She's being a little b**** and playing games, trying to make you jealous like you did her. Its a circle. You can't control if she develops feelings or him. Space is the best option for now. She knows how you feel its in her hands now.

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